True Confessions of a Beer Snob
March 28, 2009
Yesterday was Michael Jackson’s birthday. For anyone who’s reading this blog, I don’t need to explain which Michael Jackson I’m referring to.
Anyhow, yesterday, at 6 p.m. the whole beer world was toasting the late Michael Jackson, the world’s beer guru. What was I drinking? A Corona. With Lime. Why is this so significant? Because, according to Mr. Jackson, Corona is the worst beer he has ever tasted.
I didn’t plan this ironic event. Kevin and I were dining at a local Mexican restaurant. They don’t actually serve Michigan beer at this establishment so I thought, “What the hell? I’ll have a Margarita.” I hadn’t had a margarita since before Maggie was born. (Technically, before Maggie was concieved.) The salty, frozen tequila laden concoction was the perfect refreshingly light complement to the greasy chimichanga that I consumed. After it was gone, I wanted something else. Something light, crisp and not alcohol laden to offset the last of the leftover chips and salsa that I was about to finish off. And it struck me… Corona. I hadn’t had one in years. So I ordered it. With a lime. And it was marvelous. There’s just something about the lime. The way it complements the crisp, skunky light-struck taste of a Corona in a clear bottle. The way it blends perfectly with the salty chip crumbs I was polishing off. I know better. Beer shouldn’t taste like that. But it did. And it was fantastic! And then, about three sips in Kevin reminded me that is was Michael Jackson’s birthday. He didn’t have to say more.
In my defense, I didn’t even finish the thing. Not out of respect for Michael Jackson, but because Maggie had woken up from her nap in the stroller. She was in my lap and I suddenly felt self conscious about people judging me for having a baby in one hand and a beer in the other. Kevin thought I was over-reacting, and he was right. But this is Monroe, not Belgium or Germany. And you know how people talk in this town. So I left the beer and we left the restaurant.
But wait. It gets worse. We were walking home, as it was such a beautiful day, and we decided to stop at his parents house for a visit. They offered us a beer. What did they have in the fridge? Corona. I kid you not. Jesus himself was not tempted with such a sinful act. What did I do? I had another. This time without the lime. Now there’s no excuse for that.
I’m going to beer snob hell.
What’s worse? Right now I’m drinking wine.
Posted in Uncategorized
March 29th, 2009 at 4:30 am
If your going to beer snob hell I’m on the same buss down, as the 27 is also my Bday, I started the night off right at black lotus, then it went south (well MSU won but non the less south) I ended the night off with a labat. then tonight I end up in Mt Clemons at a bar that had the choice of Corona, bud, butt light, miller lite, and tears of a beer snob.
But since It was my birthday weekend people had to buy me beer, what do I get a Corona!! at least they knew not to bring a lime with it… after that I had to wash the taste out of me mouth with Budweiser… AHHHHH glad I had cold homebrew at home!
March 29th, 2009 at 6:54 am
Here all this time I thought you were maintaining this site because you loved good beer! Now my “conspiracy-theorist” feelers are up. I’ll have to look into a money-laundering scheme between you and any mega-swill brewery! You get us all into your site, stopping here each and every day, eagerly anticipating your next post and . . . BAM . . . you drop THAT bomb on us! What’s up???
Signed,
Confused!
PS: I think it was admirable that Maggie didn’t see Daddy with a Corona. She’d be confused too!!!
March 29th, 2009 at 8:28 am
Ouch. Sorry Craig. Didn’t realize I’d hit such a nerve. Don’t worry though. I won’t let it happen again. Especially once Maggie’s older. I don’t want to give her the wrong impression!
Justin, at least you only chose a Corona out of sheer desperation. I actually had a choice. I could have gone for the Negra Modelo or Dos Equis like Kevin. Both are much better.
March 29th, 2009 at 11:13 am
The way people react to people with kids would annoy me if I had kids. My mom and dad drank and smoked through the pregnancy and through childhood. In fact, they were smoking with the doctors in the delivery room. I ended up going to many years of school, have my advanced degree, good marriage, a house–> otherwise, I’m just fine!
I’d much rather see the parents drinking than letting them run all over the Corner Brewery (or any bar) with no supervision!!!
March 29th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Oops, I meant IN OTHER WORDS, I’m just fine!!!
March 29th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
I know you know I was just teasing! Great post and keep up the great work!
CB
PS: Thanks for reassuring us that Maggie won’t have to see this at an age she’ll actually remember! We don’t need any bad flashbacks from her when she’s much older!
March 30th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Preach it Sister Patti!
I know you were joing Craig.
March 30th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I feel your pain Sarah. I was at the Gravel Pit listening to this great band called the Cereal Killerz when someone next to me orders a LaBatt’s. Right away my pet peeve #1 comes out. The correct pronunciation is LaBatt and I’m tired of people not saying it right. I know it’s not a local beer but pluralizing it makes me a little crazy. Do you think I’m overreacting?
March 30th, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I think pluralizing LaBatt makes it seem more local.
Since you brought up pet peeves, I’m currently working on a post about the use of the term “domestic beer” that is one of mine.
March 30th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Well It’s not really local. It is Canadian. But your right adding the S makes it seem local. Like Ford’s or Meijer’s.
It’s nice to know there are some local bars out there that still play music. Even if it is the Gravel Pit.