“The only reason I’m doing this is for my children to see that Mommy was a pop star.”
“The only reason I’m doing this is for my children to see that Mommy was a pop star.”
- Posh Spice, in an interview to Entertainment Weekly.
Uh…yeah. I say that all the time. Just said it two minutes ago to my five year old, as a matter of fact. Which leads me to today’s topic….Sentences I never thought I’d utter, let alone mean.
1.) “Quit eating that Halloween candy, we’re on our way to McDonald’s!”
2.) “Hey, quit whipping that snake around!” (My son got a cheap plastic snake from the Dollar store and he’s been using it like bull whip, usually within two inches of his sister’s head)
3.) “Would you just sit still and eat your spaghetti sandwich the regular way, with two hands?” (What can I say, putting said spaghetti between two slices of bread was the only way I could get my son to eat it the other night. Ya do what ya gotta do. Besides, how would YOU eat it?)
4.) Get baby Jesus out of your mouth!
That’s just this week. Hmmm, I’d love to hear yours (and Posh’s).
Robin
“I just washed your ferengum down the drain.”
(I don’t know how to spell ferengum but it’s that piece of flesh between your upper lip and gumline. One of my kids doesn’t have one.. now.)
RR
Comment by Rebecca Regnier — December 5, 2007 @ 9:19 am
Not a clever one, but the standard “because I said so, that’s why”. Anymore, with a 13 year old and a 16 year old, I have to be VERY careful about how I phrase anything–they can turn even simple statements around in a heartbeat.
Comment by Phyllis — December 5, 2007 @ 9:27 am
Rebecca, I wouldn’t know how to spell that either. Sounds like it hurt though.
So true Phyllis—Austin is the king of one liners and I’ve had it bite me in the a** a time or 2.
How about I asked my daughter (10 1/2) to clean her room on Monday, it looked like a tornado came thru it. She said “we don’t live on Wisteria Lane mom”
Comment by Cheryl Engfer — December 5, 2007 @ 12:58 pm
The ferengum (sp) obliteration came when one kid’s head smacked against the other one’s mouth. They were both wailing in pain and I didn’t know who to help so I went with the one that was spitting blood. This is several years ago. I learned how E.R. doctors must feel in triage.
RR
Comment by Rebecca — December 5, 2007 @ 1:40 pm
Many of mine are now along the lines of what Rebecca put in her “student driver” blog. I’m always looking for GOOD excuses not to get in that passenger seat (and Craig is actually all qualifed for his license at this point–over 70 hours in). Too often I find my self saying conflicting things like “you rely too much on the breaks” vs “you stopped too far back” as we approach a single stop sign. We could get a whole ‘nother blog started with the comments we hear from the student drivers about our driving skills when they are in the passenger’s seat. Somehow our competence has diminished by leaps and bounds. But that’s a different topic!
Comment by Phyllis — December 5, 2007 @ 2:59 pm
duh–while he relies on the “breaks”, he also relies too heavily on the “brakes”. I need more caffeine!
Comment by Phyllis — December 5, 2007 @ 3:00 pm
See, now I thought a ferengum was that wrinkly-headed short guy with the chain hat on Start Trek Deep Space Nine.
Comment by Robin Dec — December 5, 2007 @ 3:40 pm
LMAO!! I would’ve busted up laughing if I’d heard that! I’m a bad example.
Comment by Cheryl Engfer — December 5, 2007 @ 3:49 pm
c’mon cheryl–you know you’re the one who said it. Not sure why Austin would have been in the ladies’ rest room (LOL). Now I’ll have to save some Russian teacakes for Robin as well.
“I’m the mom, that’s enough reason!”
Comment by Phyllis — December 5, 2007 @ 4:04 pm
oh, and cheryl, I’m hoping none of our kids are reading these (or their friends!) I’m sure I’d have a steady stream of comments coming from the opposite direction!
Comment by Phyllis — December 5, 2007 @ 4:06 pm
I know mine aren’t reading it…..its not sports, rap or webkinz for chrine out loud LOL
I should keep a little note pad of all the one liners my son says….holy cow I’d have you all in stitches!
Comment by Cheryl Engfer — December 5, 2007 @ 4:14 pm
You should TOTALLY write down his one liners. Um…my philosophy is that I wouldn’t have given birth to these children if I couldn’t occassionally laugh at their expense
Comment by Robin Dec — December 5, 2007 @ 7:28 pm
c’mon- it’s in the mom’s handbook that once they pass the age of 7, we HAVE to embarrass them every chance we get. That’s not laughing occasionally at their expense; that’s doing our civic duty! (Robin, if you knew our kids, you would TOTALLY understand!
Comment by Phyllis Boehm — December 5, 2007 @ 11:10 pm
I have to share what Austin said last night……I picked him up from Basketball practice and the lil fella (he’s 5′10″–he’s still my lil fella) seems as though he’s coming down with a lil cough/cold. I told him I’d give him 2 tsp of honey before he goes to bed–this is so the cough won’t keep waking him up–he says “oh no, I’m not taking any honey” I said “why not? It will help with your cough” his response “I don’t like bees, I’ve never liked them, I’m not taking honey” LMAO!!! Like the freakin’ bees are IN the honey!!!
Comment by Cheryl Engfer — December 6, 2007 @ 3:30 pm
We have a Pomeranian, a cute little fluffball. One of my oldest friends has a 14-year-old daughter … blonde, of course. When I told Amanda about the Pomeranian, she looked at me and, in all seriousness asked, “You have someone who comes to clean your house?” It took me a few seconds before I realized what she meant … and I replied with, “No, honey, not a Polynesian … a dog!”
Comment by LunaPierCook — December 6, 2007 @ 6:11 pm
HAHAHA! Ok, if we’re sharing “blonde” stories, one of my oldest friends in the world made me laugh so hard that pepsi cola came out of my nose while riding on the bus to Cedar Point. We were also about 14. There is (or was) a roadside store called “Rock of Ages” where they sell grave markers and other stone statues. She got weepy when we passed it. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, “I’d hate to be buried so close to the street!”
Y’know what though, come to think of it, blonde wasn’t her natural color, so no offense y’all!
Comment by Robin Dec — December 6, 2007 @ 9:31 pm
Got a new one this evening. Mary just told 10-year-old Ryan, “You DON’T throw cats at people!” He had literally done that, throwing Matty and her full set of claws onto Adam’s head!
Comment by LunaPierCook — December 22, 2007 @ 6:29 pm