So, 8 more days school starts. I have one child starting kindergarten. My baby. Of course, playing into my neuroses, I pull out the Kindergarten Readiness check list and see how we’re doing. Let’s see if I’m ready for kindergarten.

Social Development:

1. Can be taken away from parents without being overly upset. (um…check, unless my Mother’s giving me her opinion on what I should wear or how clean my countertops are)

2. Can spend extended periods of time away from parents. (um…not really)

3. Explores and tries new things. (not usually without self-medicating)

4. Curious and motivated to learn. (well…)

5. Puts away toys and helps with family chores. (not without griping profusely)

6. Meets visitors without shyness. (check, yay!)

7. Finishes tasks. (not without griping profusely)

8. Describes some basic emotions and feelings. (chuh, yeah…just ask my husband)

9. Expresses feelings and needs. (not without griping profusely)

10. Recognizes authority. (I own a mirror!)

11. Gets along and plays cooperatively with other childern. (flarg!)

12. Can take care of own toilet needs independently. (ok, I can…but there are others in this house…)

13. Feels good about self and talks easily. (I’m not answering that.)

14. Dresses self and cares for own belongings. (except everything I own ends up covered in Spaghettios)

Yeah, it’s no longer the baby I’m worried about.

Ever have one of those days/weeks/experiences, where you just think…hmmm…I’m pretty sure Jennifer Aniston did NOT do this today?

Let’s see, J-Lo fed her babies formula out of gilded bottles while wearing a ball gown.

Jennifer Aniston allegedly shopped at Prada with her two bodyguards in tow, then read her latest movie script poolside in Miami.

Kelly Ripa sat next to Anderson Cooper and wore some sort of other ball gown to work.

I, on the other hand, went shopping at Costco. My husband and I got really excited about our purchases. We’ve both been having back pain and we think it’s because our pillows aren’t firm enough. We got these…

THEN, becasuse I really like to wear comfy fleecy socks at night, my daughter spotted a three pack of ballet slippers that seemed like they’d be ooooh so soft. And in my defense, there was a lot going on what with trying to remember if we needed another ginormous tub of laundry detergent and keeping track of two kids who are at the perfect shopping-cart blind spot height… I threw the socks into the heaping cart, brought ‘em home and put them on. This is what happened next.

Mother of God…I turned into a 108-year old over the weekend.

All righty…off to go clubbing with my body guards in tow!

Here’s hoping everyone had a Happy Eater. (ooh, I meant Easter…how’s THAT for a Freudian slip?)

Anyhoo, because I live to amuse basically myself back by popular demand here is a graphical representation of mine.

BEFORE EASTER ME

AFTER EASTER ME

Any questions?

Although I’ve only been doing Befrazzled for a few months, I’ve actually been blogging for several years (in a secret, undisclosed location that only Dick Cheney, Condi Rice and my Mom know about). Anyway…today’s post is from a couple of years ago but it’s one of my favorites. It’s also timely. We are going to my grandfather-in-law’s big birthday bash tomorrow. I’m planning a Family Tree post about him this weekend, but for now…

All I need is my remote control, this chair, and my sweet babies

I always say, the key to my contentment (other than the health and well-being of the people I love) is credit and at least one thing to complain about. Most days, my perceived lack of the former forms the basis for the latter. Anyway…I digress. After Saturday night, I think I’ve come up with a new definition of bliss.

We had a wonderful, event-filled weekend with my husband’s family. It was a big party for his grandfather’s 80th and we got to spend time with relatives we don’t get to see often enough. Rented a hotel conference room and everything. The kids were holy terrors, but terribly cute. My husband got the idea we should stay at the hotel so we could just crash there. Translation: he wanted to play poker w/ his brothers and not worry about driving home (a perfectly reasonable request). Though, of course, it meant I got stuck in the room at 10:00 p.m w/ two ornery toddlers and a Mulan DVD that kept skipping. I was cranky, I admit. Tired and fighting a head cold.

At about midnight, I’d had enough. I was just about to pack everything up and truck the kids back home so we could salvage at least a few hours of sleep. Then, a miracle happened. The kids crashed. One on either side of me on the bed. My daughter was fiddling with her security blanket (ok, she’s 2, she still has a pacifier and takes a bottle…what of it?:)

She reached over me and latched on to her brother’s hand. OHMYGOD. They were asleep, cute as hell and holding hands!

I realized that it was probably the first, last, and only time anything like that will ever happen and I’ll remember it forever. (ok, and I’ll also remember how we attempted to go swimming in the indoor pool and found the cast of Deliverance in the hot tub on what was clearly bath and laundry night…the four year old seriously asked what Gimli from Lord of the Rings was doing in the pool…ugh…still, sleeping angels holding hands makes everything worth it).

Robin

You Are Most Like Richard Nixon

Oh sure, you give people plenty of reasons to call you “Tricky Dick.” But you’re actually quite diplomatic, even though you secretly hate your enemies.

At the risk of getting in to a mildly political discussion…there’s a thing I’ve noticed. Until this year, my kids knew very little about current events or politics. They’re still on the young end of grade school. Up until now, they could both tell you who the President was, but that’s about it. With the election coverage, that’s vastly changing and I know that this year is the first year they will remember a presidential election and what it means. Mine was Nixon and it wasn’t an election, it was a resignation. But…I definitely remember a time when the correct answer to “Who’s the President?” was Richard Nixon. He left office when I was just shy of four. I also remember being able to correctly answer who the vice president and secretary of state were.

 The thing is….I’m not any smarter than my kids. Probably far less so It is my theory that cable TV is the difference (and I suppose, to a lesser extent, computers and video games…though I do limit their time). When we were little, you could basically watch what, 3 channels? We saw the news. We heard those names and titles all of the time (even if we didn’t understand it, we constantly heard “Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State etc.). My kids don’t see as much news as I did. If the TV is on, it’s Nickelodeon, Noggin, PBS Kids etc.

I’m not saying it’s a good or bad thing, just interesting. Anyway…what got me to thinking of this (and you’ll see…my train of thought is always pretty serpentine) is a phenomenon I’ve noticed in both my husband and me. We’ll turn on the TV (Nickelodeon etc, when the kids are there). The kids will watch 5 minutes of whatever it is, then go off about their business. We, on the other hand, in kind of a mindless fog, will sit and watch Spongebob in its entirety before realizing…Hey, the kids left, put on Fox or CNN!

Sooooo, anyway, I think Spongebob would make a great President. He has charm and charisma and represents change. Squidward is too negative and too much of a Bikini Bottom insider for my liking. Patrick Star, being a starfish, is way too much of a flip flopper.

P.S. How weird is it that “Spongebob” showed up as a word on my spellchecker???

I Am 38% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in my heart, but I hide it well. In some ways, I am the most dangerous kind of evil.

How evil are you?

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Also…

The Recipe For Robin

3 parts Love 2 parts Imagination 1 part Intensity Splash of Difance Finish off with an olive

What the he## is Difance? I think they mean “defiance.”

I just have to laugh at the current crop of Oscar nominated movies. I have seen none of them. I have no hope of seeing any of them and maybe with the exception of Juno, have no desire to see any of them. Seriously, I think they named “There Will Be Blood” just for me.  I would also avoid anything titled, “There Will Be Cancer”, “There Will Be Guys in Latex Fat Suits,” or “There Will Be Harvey Keitel Naked.”

 THIS is what I’ve seen this year, and therefore here are my Oscar picks:

1.) Bee Movie (eh…Also, the mosquito as the lawyer?? Come ON!)

2.) Ratatouille (fell asleep)

3.) Superbad (Supergood!!!!)

4.) Knocked Up (Fantastic. 30 minutes too long)

5.) Er…

6.) Hmmm

M’yeah. I got nothin’. We see nothing. I honestly think the last movie I’ve seen in the theater that wasn’t G rated was Gladiator.

Woot!

Happy belated New Year. I know, I’ve been bloggy absent. With the kids and my back to school shenanigans, it’s been hectic. 

Anyway, I’d been meaning to discuss what I think is one of the coolest inventions of my lifetime. My DVR. I do not know how I ever lived without the thing. I can watch what I want, when I want and also freeze time. I’m still trying to convince the kids that I cannot (yet) fast forward time. Only pause it and play it back. I once blogged about what the top of our nightstand says about us as individuals. I think the DVR queue is similar. Let’s have a look. These are mine.

I was going to also post pics of my husband’s queue, but he’s busy playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii and he looked at me like I was insane when I asked him if I could. Hey…blog business people! Suffice it to say that his is basically hours of Realtree Outdoors, Futureweapons and Whitetail Adventures.

Back to me though. 35% full isn’t too bad. I start getting really antsy when it gets over 40%. 50%+ and I’m a ball of despair and fear of failure. I feel as though I will NEVER get through all of that. What if we go away on vacation? I become spontaneously comatose? The power goes out for days? Insanity. I mean, how long can “Luke await judgment while his eternal soul is in limbo?”

So, what’s on your DVR queue?

P.S. Who am I kidding with 12+ hours of The War. Like I’m EVER going to watch that. Not when there’s American Idol Rewind to be viewed!

 Dear Mr. Grinch:

 You’ve been misunderstood, I think. Plenty of us hate Christmas. I mean really, it’s enough already with the trees and the lights and the gifts, the gift returns. I would like to personally extend an invitation to you to come to my house for dinner. Yeah, yeah, I know, another party. Another shin-dig git-together. It’s enough already. You don’t have to bring a gift. I won’t bring one for you. I WILL make your favorite roast beast. You can have the whole thing to yourself. I’ll make another one for your dog too, only don’t feel you have to rig him up to your sleigh. I’ll send a car (ok…so admittedly I have no idea how to “send a car,” but I’ll look into it. I can always send my Dad. He has a very nice car and he’s retired now so I think he’d be cool with it). Make it any day you want. Look in your book, your palm pilot, your blackberry, whatever you do, just let me know.

I promise we won’t sing songs or count our blessings. It’ll be your show. My only request, and I think it’s really up your alley, is please, please, PLEASE, will you bring your giant sack and pack up all of my Christmas decorations. Just really, all of it. Pack it up, get it out of here. I just…I just can’t stand doing it myself.

Thanks,

Robin