Birth and Babies

If it helps, keep a note of things to try on your fridge.  Having a baby that is crying for what seems to be no reason can be stressful.  Remember that adjusting to life outside the womb can be stressful to your baby, too.  If you’ve tried the basics - try to feed, change diapers, and make sure baby isn’t too hot/cold, isn’t overstimulated (take baby into a quiet, darkened room), etc. there are some more ideas.

1. Suck.  Your baby may not be hungry, but they are calmed through sucking.  You can try to nurse, use your finger (pinkie, pad side up, no long nails please!), or a pacifier.

2. Swaddle.  Newborns especially like to be swaddled because the tightness of the blanket keeps them near the same position they were in while in the womb.  Don’t be afraid to swaddle snugly!

3. Movement.  Babies thrive on movement.  Try rocking, standing and swaying or lightly bouncing, swinging your baby from side to side (or if need be, use a baby swing if you have one, but babies would prefer a human in many cases).

4. Patting.  Babies like rhythm and patting their bottom or back at a regular beat can be calming.

5. Lay your baby on their side or stomach while you’re holding them. This, too, can be comforting.

6. Sing or “shush” to your baby.  Your voice can be very calming and comforting, and shushing can also be comforting (along with white noise).  Mom or dad may have the best luck just singing or talking to their newborn because baby is already programmed to your voices from hearing them in the womb.

If you’re not near a pacifier or just prefer not to use them, but have a fussy baby who wants to suck but isn’t hungry… try using a (clean) pinkie finger to let your baby suck on - insert it with the pad of your finger towards the roof of the mouth.  Generally baby will suck it in far enough that the tongue will rub on your flesh and not on your nail.  This isn’t recommended if you have long nails of course. 

I dont’ have any pictures of my daughter online yet, but my mom does.  So feel free to visit her blog here and see pictures of my new daughter!!

The birth went a little like this: Since Sunday evening I had been having strong contractions in the evening, but they were about 8-10 minutes apart and I didn’t notice any change with them.  I did call my midwives to give them a heads up, but told them don’t get excited yet… I really dont’ feel I’m in labor.  The contractions kept me up several times through the night, I had some bloody show, but everything dwindled down by early afternoon Monday.  I called one of my midwives and told her, and she said she wouldn’t be surprised if things picked back up again in the evening because that is when I seem to have the most activitiy.  She told me to enjoy being a mom of two for the next few hours, and she’ll see me later that night.  I laughed and really didn’t feel I’d be seeing her again for at least a few days.

However, later Monday evening contractions picked up again.  I stayed up with my husband until about 1:30 trying to decide if I should call my midwives or not.  Contractions were strong, but still about 10 minutes apart.  We decided to go to bed.

I woke up around 2am with REALLY strong contractions and decided to get up and be by myself for a little bit and decide if I should wake anyone.  I really don’t like calling anyone and waking them up, so if I would have thought these contractions would have lasted until the morning I would have dealt with them all night just so I wouldn’t have to wake anyone! hehe.

About 2:30 labor turned very active pretty quick.  I woke my husband and told him to call my mom and the midwives, it’s time. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart and I felt I was having smaller contractions in between the “main” ones.  I was shaky and cold.  I proceeded to just walk circles around my apartment.  When I’m in active labor, I really just want to be on my own. I was so excited about having my husband get me through contractions, and even packed some things we could use for comfort measures but the only thing I’ve ever needed to get through labor was myself.  No gadgets except a birth ball, and I’d probably be fine laboring alone beacuse I didn’t need support, backrubs (though I did take one of my midwives up on the offer for a short one), or anything.

Typical active labor for me is walking, or bouncing/rocking on a birth ball.  I walk. And I walk, and I walk, and I walk.  During active labor the only time I am still is when I am using the bathroom.  This labor was different because the active part of it came on so suddenly and was so strong from the get go. After a while my water broke.  I nearly made it to the toilet on time, but the initial gush hit the floor mere seconds before I sat.  Unlike past labors, when my water broke this time I could literally feel the membranes coming through the cervix and breaking, and the gush of water coming through the birth canal.  I never had a vaginal exam, so I don’t know how far dilated I was by this point. But we knew a baby was coming soon, as I was feeling the familiar pushy sensation and the intense tightening in my thighs.

I went into hands and knees to try and bring the baby around in a more favorable position and this is the part of labor I hated.  I hit transition at this point and it was “hot and heavy”.  There was no break between contractions to relax. They were one on top of another and they HURT.  All I could do was bow my head in prayer asking God to take the pain away and bring this baby into the world.  My midwife prayed over me also.  Things became bearable again.  I began feeling the baby inching down the birth canal with each contraction. I wasn’t yet feeling terribly pushy, but I started pushing lightly myself during contractions to see if I could move things along.  And I guess it gave me something to do during that time.  All I could do during transition was try to be absolutely still.  One of my midwives held pressure over my tailbone and mentioned she could feel the baby through my back every time the baby inched further down.  I vomited again and I believe the pressure from vomiting pushed the baby to the point where my body automatically started pushing, as I found myself pushing hard after this.  Contractions spaced out a little more so I actually had time to talk, sip water and relax between pushes.  This is the part of labor I actually LIKE because the pain of contractions can be completely erased as I push.  There is the pain of crowning, but that seems like such a different kind of pain than labor pain.  And that pain, too, can be controlled through hot compresses (which I’m told I became quite angry when whoever was holding the hot compress took it away to dunk it in the water again…). 

My husband delivered our baby again, and announced the sex in the form of an introduction.  “momma, meet Kaitlyn!” as he held her between my legs so I could grab her (I delivered on hands and knees, leaning over my couch again).  Then I hear “I think!” because he had delivered her and handed her right to me, he didn’t have much of a chance to confirm that it was indeed a girl. LOL!  I was oogling over her as my husband went to grab our daughter.  She was sleeping through the whole process, and we did want her there for the birth but I didn’t want to wake her up for the birth.  Something about waking up to a mom in pain, lots of blood and gooze didn’t sit right with me for her, however if she had already been up I would have been find having her there.  Anyway, she was rushed out to the living room to see her new sister still covered in gooze, but adorable anyway.  Alexis went to go get the baby a blankie in the correct color and stuck by my side as we cleaned her.  I was helped to the couch to sit with her until the cord stopped pulsing. Then my daughter helped my husband cut the cord.  Lexi watched as I delivered the placenta and watched me and one of my midwives poke around with it.  The midwife examining the placenta took the time to explain to my daughter how the baby lived in there, showed her the umbilical cord and explained how it hooked the baby up to me to get food.  THen after a while I got up, showered, and came back out to the couch for the newborn exam and an exam of my own.

I am happy to announce the labor and delivery were completely uncomplicated.  Baby is nursing fine and is healthy and happy.  And momma has no complaints either!  No tears, barely bleeding anymore, no soreness at all or any discomfort.  I am ready to jump back into the swing of life, but I am trying to hold back just a little because I know how important it is to just sit and recover.  However… There is only so much sitting I can do with two other young children at home.  My husband decided to slice his finger down to the bone the evening of the birth and went to the hospital for stitches, so he’s been kind of unable to do much in terms of helping me and he, too, has been in a lot of pain.  I thank the good Lord for the beautiful birth and the amazing recovery (best yet!) and am excited to get back into the swing of things full time and experience the crazy life of mom to 3 kids under the age of 3.5!

I’ll write up a birth story when I have a minute, but just wanted to let you know our beautiful DAUGHTER arrived at 5:38 AM.  Kaitlyn Rose is her name. She is 7 lb 6 oz, 19 3/4 in. long and nursing like a champ.  She was born without any complications in the comfort of our home and right into daddy’s hands.  Thank you Lord for another beautiful homebirth and a healthy baby!!!  I’ll post pictures soon, but right now I have a little peanut trying to eat her hands.  Off to nurse!

The Monroe Breastfeeding Collaborative Invites You To A Special Event August 22, 2007 at the Monroe County Health Dept. 5-7pm.

Giveaways, prizes, snacks and more. Children are welcome.  Moms, share your stories and celebrate all the love and hard work you put into your most important job - being a Mom!

In recent discussions on a few message boards I frequent, I notice a disturbing trend: at-home moms (or dads) are looked down upon by some of society.  Perhaps I am totally missing something, but I tend to get the feeling that Monroe is pretty darn supportive of at-home moms (and dads).  Having been an at-home mom since before my daughter was born over 3 years ago (well, I have been self employed but let’s face it: I work from my home… So, I’m home) and having discussed the “what do you do for a living?” question with other parents at parks and stores it seems the at home moms are respected (I’m also noticing more and more moms making the changes they need to, TO stay home!).  Many other moms wish they could stay home, but for financial reasons have to work.  This is in Monroe, of course.  I have never had a single negative experience when someone finds out I stay home with the kids.  I get a lot of comments like “thank goodness!  It’s nice to see that still happens!”  I’ve been thinking of putting together some sort of a workshop or meeting to help Monroe families learn of ways they can cut costs and plan so one parent CAN stay home.  I talk with my students (and locals who haven’t taken any classes) about their budget, lifestyle, and what they can do to trim some costs and find that a lot of them can stay home after all (especially factoring in their savings of no daycare, reduced gas consumption, no more lunches on the fly, work clothing, etc.).  I have no formal education in finances, but have lived frugally all my life and it seems people think I have some good ideas.  I’d love to form some sort of a meeting where we can all gather, share ideas and get more parents staying at home!  Anyway, getting back on track…

Being an at-home parent isn’t a walk in the park.  Don’t get me wrong: I love being here.  But there is a lot of effort in taking care of the daily needs of children day in and day out.  There are meals and snacks to prepare, children to clean, dress, change, entertain and teach, a house to clean, errands to run, a household to manage, temper tantrums to tame, little hands that want to help (with EVERYTHING), bills to pay and a checkbook to balance, possibly other pets to tend to.  When you stay at home, you tend to not only take care of the children, but the rest of the household management as well.

I personally think that taking care of the household management is great - you are able to teach your kids from an early age how to run a house.  I know I mention this a lot, but my kids (age 3.5 and nearly two (and one still baking) do have chores.  As soon as they show an interest in helping mom, I jump on it.  If they want to help fold clothes or wash dishes, we do it. Even if it means the chore takes 4x longer than it normally would (and makes a mess) if ihad done it myself, my kids are helping and being exposed to skills they will need when they’re on their own.  As soon as they have been taught a skill suitable for their age, it becomes their job to complete.  Of course, I don’t expect perfection - that will come in time - but I expect the job to be done, and to be done cheerfully. I don’t believe in whisking kids away so mom can clean the house, or putting them in front of the TV so you can get things done, but I know this does work for other parents.  Often, I wonder if not letting kids help when they have the natural desire leads to a rough time introducing chores when the parent feels the child is old enough.  I do believe in letting the kids help.  You are home with them, so teach them.  Eventually they will start helping you for real and you can delegate actual jobs to them so you no longer have to do them.  My daughter does have a lot of little jobs that she does (sorts and puts away silverware, rinses dishes and places them in the dishrack, gathers dirty dishes as I start washing, folds her own clothing, helps mommy load the washer and hang to dry, picks up her toys and puts them away every night, etc.).  She started helping early and I kept it going (we make it fun, and I don’t force it on her as soon as I notice an interest, I let her help but it’s on her terms at the beginning, to let her see it can be fun!).  She loves to help me cook and although it can be frusterating or messier than normal I just remember I’m home for a reason, and what better reason than to teach my kids life skills!  THIS is my job!  In my home, we carry on a very traditional approach to life and raising our children.  I stay at home and I take full responsibility for all child care and household management tasks.  My husband works outside of the home so we can pay our bills.  We will homeschool (starting my daughter in preschool this fall, at home) and I instill life skills in them (back to basics, homesteading type) that are quickly being lost to the world of fast and convienient.  I’m home and have the time to teach them how to live life simply, without all of the thrills and frills.  Because we are a single income family, we don’t have the finances to get a lot of the fancy kitchen appliances, build a huge DVD or CD library, buy tons of noisy toys for the kids, etc.  I rather enjoy that though, because I feel life can be very enjoyable without all the extra’s, and i hope my children grow up with the same outlook.

Anyway, getting back on track - having mentioned all of that I don’t see how an active at-home mom, dedicating her life to raising her children, can be looked down upon or feel disrespected.  She is taking on one of the most important jobs she’ll ever have!  This goes the same for dads who stay home, also (of course!).  Being home with the kids often means no time off, no sick days, very little adult interaction and a lot of responsibility.  I hate that some of society thinks a woman should have to work outside of the home and hold some high-ranking career to deserve respect!  Raising our children ourselves today with love, values, discipline and life skills is pretty darn important so we can continue to have caring, compassionate and skilled people tomorrow. 

Check out this link (it’s older) about gentle cesareans and how we can make them better for the parents and baby.  How great would it be if these happened here in the states?!?!