17 Teens Pregnant…
If you’ve heard the news, chances are good you’ve heard about this. Here is a CNN video on it http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/06/20/cho.teen.pregnancy.pact.wcvbwhdh
My heart aches for these girls. Supposedly a number of these girls made a pact to become pregnant together so they could raise their children together. What is the real reason behind having a baby so young? Do they not have a stable environment at home? Do they have a low self esteem and need to feel important, or a part of something? Not one of these girls is older than 16. The decision to get pregnant together so they can raise their kids together shows their immaturity and their inability to see reality. Teen pregnancy happens. There are some amazing teen parents out there. But more often than not, teens are not ready to become parents. When they thought about raising their children together, did they consider how they would be able to finish school, keep a well paying job, find a good child care situation, and still have time to spend with their child? What about the stability of family relationships - will this child know its father? Will its father be an active part of their lives? Are these teens on the edge with their parents, and will the baby be around constant fighting and stress? Will these teens live with their parents, or find another housing situation to get out on their own? If they stay at home with their parents, will they have their parents raise their child so they can go out often and have a good time, like teenagers who don’t have children are supposed to do or will they take responsibility and give up a typical teenagers life to raise a child? Are these teens in committed relationships, and can it stand the stress of a new baby so young? Are they expecting the experience of parenting a baby so young to be a fun, easy experience? When they’re older, will they regret giving up the last part of their ‘childhood’ to raise a child? There are so many questions to ask - and sure, anyone planning a baby or expecting a baby can ask themselves these questions. But in many cases, when you’re just a bit older and planning a baby more of your life has already fallen into place. You can focus on other things. Teens have to question and focus on things that pertain to their age range… There are a lot more issues at play, a lot more to deal with emotionally, and a lot more challenges.
Teen pregnancy is a growing concern. Many teens are becoming pregnant at a very young age and while I don’t hold anything against teen parents and feel many of them become awesome parents, it’s hard to hide the fact that there are also many more (more so than adults?) that shirk their responsibilities, continue to party and bring bad influences around their children, don’t have the experience or maturity to properly train and discipline, and make immature and irrational decisions based upon a fairy tale perception on life rather than reality.
I’ve worked with some great expectant teens who WANT the best for their children. After talking to them after they’ve had their baby, it turns out life isn’t what they expected it to be. It’s harder. It’s harsher. There isn’t much anyone can tell them about life after having a baby until they’ve lived it themselves. But they continue to learn. They grow up real fast. Life changes dramatically. They miss out on a lot of their teen ‘rites of passage’ so to speak because they have a baby depending on them. But they make it work. I love working with these teens. They give me hope. I hope their influence will inspire other teens who are stuck in that “I know it all” mindframe (we’ve all been there, no?) to let themselves learn and most importantly, fall in love with their baby.
I pray that these girls are the type that want to learn, have the desire to dig in and do whatever it takes for the baby they are bringing into this world, and make sound decisions.