Holiday Advice for Newlyweds
There’s one thing I don’t do….Christmas Cards. Well I don’t sew or speak Finnish either but I’m really keeping in the realm of the holiday traditions for today. At this time of year I decorate, bake, host get-togethers, shop, wrap, gain weight and scream at my family. In that way I’m not too much different than your average woman.
What? You don’t do extra screaming at your family for the holiday season? I think its how my family knows it’s that special time of year. “Oh, mom’s extra screamy. Let’s get a tree!”
I go all out with the tree. They’re real and they’re spectacular. One year I made dozens of silver bows, another time I made popcorn garland. I wouldn’t recommend the popcorn string. It’s painful and bloody. It looks nice though.
But back to the Christmas cards. When I first got married my mother gave me some advice regarding the holidays. “Never send Christmas cards,” said mom.
Why shouldn’t I? She always did. My mother favored simple cards, silhouettes of things like The Star of David with metallic accents or red line drawings of holly and berries on a stark white background. She didn’t go for winter scenes or flowers or holiday letters. Her cards were elegant. So why shouldn’t I try to duplicate this touch of class?
“Because it’s a trap, first family, then friends, and then the work people, and then the new work people when you or your husband changes jobs. And then the children of the cousins, it gets out of control,” declared mom. Mostly my mom is definitive. She rarely vacillates. What she knows she knows.
“Plus,” she added. “If you send cards every year and then one year you can’t, or don’t feel like it, or you have pneumonia everyone will wonder why. There’s bad blood. Just don’t start. You will regret it. Don’t do it. Don’t send Christmas Cards.”
As a young wife those many years ago I listened to my mother and I don’t send Christmas Cards.
Now I love the cards we receive from family, friends, work people, people from the jobs we used to have. I love to see the pictures of their kids. There’s even a cousin whose holiday letter wins as the coolest family every year. This particular family recounts their adventurous outdoor life in a yearly newsletter and never sounds pretentious.
I hope they don’t mind I’ve never sent cards but frankly, it’s just one less thing. And my mother gets an A+ for this pearl of motherly wisdom. She knew that at the holidays I’d be so busy that I’d barely have enough time get all my Yuletide screaming done!
Some of the people who read this are young and so I pass it on to you. Holiday Cards, just don’t start. Further, it’s also been my experience that you don’t need to know how to speak Finnish either.[1]
[1] According to Wikipedia Finland has a population of 5,300,362 people and 94.5% speak Finnish. I’ve never run into even one.
Anyone else have advice on what to eliminate at the holidays?
tami evans
I love you dearly for the day you freed me from the “Christmas card grumpies” and told me that pearl of wisdom! I have not sent a card since the day you shared it with me! Thanks to your mother!!!
Have you hosted your class reunion committee holiday get together yet?
Robin
Fabulous! Yes, but, I think mom likes you better because she never shared that pearl with me as I recall. But…you had kids way earlier in your marriage than I did so I had more time on my hands to do things like wrap my dog in tinsel and stick her under the tree!
Also, why’s that lady hanging her wreath naked? ;D
Rebecca Regnier
Tami - I’m so GLAD you are on my page with this. My mom will be so happy she made a difference. We’ll do that get together in the New Year, at your house.
Robin - THank you. Mom just knows I’m malleable so she malleas me. And the lady, like me, probably can’t figure out what to wear. Again, thank you both for your support. I’m afraid my stance might be controversial!
RR
LunaPierCook
Robin … the lady hanging the wreath is probably naked simply because she’s a newlywed …
I’m not going to address the whole Christmas card thing. Basically, we feel you do what you want for the holidays and people shouldn’t go all judgmental about it. For example, Saturday evening we gave a certain Jewish friend a Hannakah gift and card. He then showed us the proper ceremony for that day … and immediately afterward, he was helping decorate the Christmas tree. To us, that respect of differences in holidays and related religious observances are the true meaning of the word friendship.
Phyllis
I’m a Christmas card do-er, but I’ve learned restraint. I max out at 60, and I refuse to track down addresses.
My dilemma is how far into the family tree the whole gift giving thing goes. I only have 2 siblings, and they only have a couple of kids, so giving to everyone wasn’t a big deal. (siblings don’t exchange w/each other–we just give to the kids). Well, the kids are all grown now and some have kids of their own. Expectations have been set–this is like trying to feed a rabbit farm… thinking of cutting off the adult nieces (I don’t have nephews, so no favorite playing!) and only giving to the little ones, but I’m afraid of contributing to global population issues by encouraging progeny who can get the goods. Whaddya think?
Rebecca Regnier
I don’t know, can you draw names? It’s probably too late in the game for that this year. Maybe next year? And I’ll tell you 60 cards sounds like a lot to me.
RR
Phyllis
actually, if’n i stop sending out the cards, I’d have an extra $60 for the gifts…
Shawna
My husband must MAKE the Christmas cards we send out. To be honest, he is still working on it, but I vow to have them in the mail by Monday! Sine he prints them out, our names are already on them, so that’s one less thing to do. Now he tells me that he also will print out the addresses right onto the envelopes for me! Oh what joy! What rapture! Straight from his computer’s address book to the envelope! No searching, no cramped hand, no wrong addresses! All I have to do is take them to the post office and smack on the stamps……with two children in tow….during the holiday season…. hmmmm, I sure hope I get them mailed out this year! lol
Cheryl Engfer
I hope I have the time to get my cards out…YIKES
Phyllis and Rebecca….I have the same dilema with my husbands family. Our nieces (3) are adults and are having their own kids, so a few years ago I said lets buy for their kids and not our nieces because afterall Christmas is for the kids. Personally, I think it would be great to pick names….but no one in his family will discuss it. I know odd, but that’s just the way it is. Everyone wants to cut back but no one wants to bring up the convo. So this year I went on a girls shopping trip to Great Lakes Crossing and I fell in love with Marshall’s!! Affordable gifts for EVERYONE—kids, not the nieces
Rebecca Regnier
Was just at the post office. Not too bad but I heard it was really busy just before noon.
I used to like that Marshalls that was in Spring Meadows! I’m all about the discount shopping Cheryl.
RR
Robin
Here is my secret shopping tip. Now, this year I did cyber-Monday…but…if I’m going to go out…the best place to shop is Spring Meadows. TJ Maxx, Target, Best Buy, Sam’s Club, Wal-mart, Petco, Big Lots, Dick’s…ALL RIGHT THERE!
Blonde Highlights » Blog Archive » Hello Bossy Readers
[...] iambossy.com featured me on her blog. Thank you Bossy and welcome Bossy readers. Here’s my holiday advice post as a thank you for visiting and as you can see if you scroll down I totally retouched that photo [...]
Lisa
Here’s the best thing to give up at the holidays (especially this year): gift giving! Gets you out of the fooking mall, takes 95% of the stress out of the whole schmegeggy, and generally puts the ho-ho-ho back in the holidays.
I learned this when I was unemployed. You can use the “current economic meltdown” as your excuse. Yeah, the world as we know it may come to a grinding halt, but I’m telling you, you’ll enjoy the holiday season so much more!
Lisa’s last blog post..Crossing the Ma’am Line
Rebecca Regnier
I like it Lisa.. “current economic meltdown” is now going to be my reason for also not cleaning the house.
Phyllis
We’re pretending there is no economic downturn–we’re having a “let’s pretend we’re really adults and have a dress-up cocktail party”. We’re contributing to the retail space by having to buy nice clothes for ourselves. As for the kids, they’re getting a chartible contribution donated in their names (plus maybe a mall gift certificate).
BTW–did you get my email about Friday??
Phyllis’s last blog post..Ode to My Firstborn
Kelley
Boo is teaching me to speak Hebrew. So that is a get out of jail free card for no cards isn’t it?
I still have last years cards, all written and stamped. Found them at the bottom of the decoration box. I write them, I just suck at actually SENDING them!
Kelley’s last blog post..You want crazy? I will show you mine if you show me yours.
Lisa @ Serah's
I totally agree with your Mom. As a child, I used to help my grandmother send Christmas cards and she has 13/14 kids and we’d always forget one. That’s obvious since I can’t remember if she has 13 or 14. haha
Laptop Computer
I’ve never given this a try, but I think it’s about time I do.