Blonde Highlights

I am an expert on going to Walt Disney World. There I’ve said it. I know modesty is a good trait but I’m telling you when it comes to going to Walt Disney World I am all that.  Here’s the background Disney owns WTVG so I am a Disney employee. In the interest of full disclosure as a Disney employee I flipping love going to Walt Disney World. On our first trip the kids were toddlers and we still go  there on vacation even now that they’re teenagers. I’ve also traveled to “The World” with retirees, babies, menopausal women, feverish kids, friends, and someone who’d just had an appendix removed.  We’ve had a great time every time. Really if you know anyone planning a trip, send ‘em over.  If you are going to Disney or know someone who is think of me as your electronic Sherpa. This is the experience I’ve garnered over many visits and now at the very least I’ll send people who ask to these pages. It will be an ongoing series of sorts.

Over the years I’ve shared tips with friends, family and co-workers and trust me I always get a Mickey coffe Mug and an “I’m so glad I did what you suggested” as a thank you. One friend even called me their Disney Trip “Fairy Godmother.” This made me so happy! So if you or someone you know is planning a trip put up your bibbidi-bobbidi-boo and read on.

First up plan ahead, a successful trip to the park with your kids or your parents requires thought. There’s so much to see and do it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Buy a guide book and use it. I’m not here to tell you my favorite rides or map your route through the park. (Maybe we’ll talk favorite attractions later.) But I can tell you prioritizing rides and mapping out a plan has worked like crazy for our family. As they say at NASA “work the plan” and you’ll have a Magical Day.

Let’s start with traveling to the park. My family and I aren’t campers. It’s just not one of our hobbies. I think we would like camping but we just never got around to it. What we do instead is drive to Florida. We load up our mini-van and hit I-75. I liken it to camping except for the DVD player and electronic games. Oh and except for the air conditioner. Okay so it’s only like camping because we’re in a small enclosure. But we do like driving down to Florida. We like checking off the states as we pass through, it’s fun to go to the ‘Coon Skin Cap Outlet, and there’s always a thrill when we chance it with the “is this gas station safe” game. Some families have traditions rooted in culture or history our tradition is picking a random highway exit and sampling the Waffle House. Waffle House says to us.. we’re on vacation and we’re lovin’ maple syrup!

***DISCLAIMER ALERT***NEVER DRIVE WHILE TIRED***  Now that you’ve read the disclaimer here’s our preferred method for driving to Florida. We start in the afternoon and then go straight through. We drive all night. With a small kid this is brilliant because they fall asleep as it gets dark and pretty much STAY ASLEEP until you get through Tennessee. Sure missing Kentucky is disconcerting but only if your small children actually know the states. Don’t encourage them to care about “getting to Kentucky” and you won’t have any disappointment. Maybe if they’re small you could just not mention that there is a Kentucky and then you’re golden. (Nothing against Kentucky mind you we’re just trying to avoid some sort of “why didn’t you wake me up when we hit Kentucky” temper tantrum.) Gettin’ almost to Georgia with sleeping kids is a beautiful thing.

Think of driving at night like a futuristic space travel deal. If astronauts were ever to travel to Mars or something the astronaut would be suspended in some sort of frozen sleep stasis. That way they wouldn’t age during the years it takes to get to the Red Planet. This is scientific fact based on movies I’ve watched. See they go to sleep after blast off and wake up when the little green men stuns them with lasers. Driving to Florida at night is like that. Go to sleep in Ohio wake up in Dixie! Plus there’s the side perk of - you haven’t aged. Sure you still get the “are we there yet” chant at dawn but at least you wont’ have it all night. ***DISCLAIMER ALERT***NEVER DRIVE WITH MARTIANS*** (Oh and I’m usually the one chanting “are we there yet?”)

Whether you drive at night or teleport to Orlando pack light. Pack light enough to bring back all the souvenirs you buy in the parks. Take clothes that you know you can sweat in and feel comfortable. Buy a pair of shoes, break them in with a few nice long walks at home before the trip, and then also a pair of flip-flops with that you’re good to go. Disney is a casual place. Sure you can book a fancy dinner or two when you’re in Orlando but if you are going with kids you need to stock-up on comfortable, wearable, and cool clothing.

Disney accomodations are all top notch. In my experience if you stay “on property” as Disney calls it you can always be assured you’ll have clean and beautiful room with great service. Obviously you can learn about the different levels of accomodations at the Official Walt Disney World Site. Basically there’s value, moderate, and delux levels of lodging. There’s also a few options that include kitchenettes. Here’s my tip - split your stay. Go for a few days at a hotel with one theme and then half way through switch to another! We often go for a few days at the hotel and then move to a place with a little kitchen or two rooms. That way just when we’re getting on each other’s nerves in a hotel setting we change the setting. PLUS Disney will move your stuff from one hotel to another. Pack up, head to a park and then check at your new hotel with your bags already in place. Brilliant.

To be continued (with discussion of food, protein spills, hot flashes, strollers and Eyeore pics.)

P.S. So probably if you are one of my ten readers (hi mom) and you aren’t going to Disney this was long and boring and I apologize. I DO plan to sprinkle my advice with charming stories of family disasters that everyone can enjoy regardless of your vacation plans. If that helps. If you ARE goin’ to “The World” stay tuned. I’m going to outline some other super secrets to a great trip to Walt Disney World. Or if you know someone headed there have them head here first.