Some of you know that I also run a diet humor blog called Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat? We’ve kicked off 32 Days of Christmas on the dieting blog. We’re featuring tips to get through the holiday eating season without gaining weight. Below I’ve posted today’s tip. Click over to the blog to read the full post and find out why it’s 32 days instead of 12. (Remember it’s a humor blog so all advice is tongue-in-cheek and not endorsed by medical professionals or even by people who live near hospitals.)

Dieting Advice for the Holiday Cookie Exchange

The phrase is when “in Rome do like the Romans do” or something. Whatever the phrase the philosophy is how I try to enjoy vacation eating. If you’re at a seaside resort order the fish.  At the global fusion buffet order whatever that rice thing is.  I’m a grown up and I enjoy a little culinary adventure now and again. Disney’s the perfect venue for this type of adventure since you can have the best of foreign dining combined with rigorous health and cleanliness standards found in a Disney Kitchen. I advise all grown ups headed to Disney to mix it up and try a new taste.

But no matter where we go one of my children will always find the chicken tenders on the meal. It is that kid’s go to order. We could be dining in the finest Italian, Greek, French or Mexican restaurant and the child will ferret out the chicken tenders.

I try to nudge the Chicken Tender King toward something new when we dine out. When in Epcot do like the Epcotians do! The chefs know their international cuisine. I enjoy pushing myself away from old food favorites and I ask what the waiter/waitress recommends. I’ve never been lead astray.

But there’s still the Chicken Tender King. After a day at the park The Chicken Tender King had walked for hours, patiently stood in line, and had laughed ot the point of crying on a ride called Star Tours. It was time for dinner.

The Chicken Tender King was cooked, pretty tired. This was a tired born of great fun , but the kind that could lead to tears and tantrums. You know the drill. You can see when your kid is nearly as fried as the items on the menu. Respect that.

When it was The Chicken Tender King’s turn to order we didn’t protest the selection of chicken tenders. Normally we would nudge a little. But we gave in. Why? Were we allowing the kid to run all over us? No. It’s just a little bit of comfort after a day of adventure can be just the ticket. Really, on vacation why argue over dinner? Save that for Christmas. The rest of the year you can make the case for variety, healthy choices, vegetables, but at a late night Disney dinner, whatever floats your Steamboat Willy.

If you can get the kids or grandparents to get wild in their food choices at some of the restaurants I guarantee you’ll be satisfied. But if someone really just wants a little familiar taste of home, by all means, chicken tenders, macaroni and chees and yes peanut butter and jelly are on the menu of just about every Disney restaurant.

It is after all the land of The Lion King which is the perfect habitat for your little Chicken Tender King to rule over his dinner feast.

I’m trying to come up with a way where I don’t feel guilty about the HUGE amount of food I just ate. Taking a page from my Catholic school days, where you have your Holy Days of Obligation, I think some sort of Holy Moly Diet Days of Absolution are in order.

Holy Moly Diet Days of Absolution – And Their Historical Significance
Thanksgiving –  In 1621 Squanto teaches the Pilgrims that Turkey is great eats.
Christmas Eve – The night before Christmas and all through the house. I can’t rhyme shrimp cocktail with anything in the classic poem. But that’s what I’m having.
Christmas – It’s a birthday after all.
New Year’s Eve – Best to couple the drinking with some eating. This isn’t cheating on the diet it’s just plain smart.
New Year’s Day - All resolutions start on January 2nd according to the old Gregorian Calendar system. Unless that day is not a Monday, then resolutions start on the first Monday AFTER the new year.
My Birthday – You must have cake, preferably chocolate with cream under the icing. You should be guilt free on my Birthday too. (February 1st, mark it down.)
Valentine’s Day – If your Valentine doesn’t like chocolate. Eat the box you  bought him/her so he/she doesn’t feel badly. That’s love. Look it up.
St. Patrick’s Day- All people of Irish decent must have potatoes on this day.
Easter Sunday – All people of Polish decent must eat deviled eggs this day with ham after a hearty post-mass perogi.
Mother’s Day – You’ve gone through 40 plus hours of labor. You need nourishment.
Father’s Day - Eating’s the only way to distract one from the cavalcade of ugly ties and gifts associated with grilling.
Husband’s Birthday – Treats yourself anytime you are not the recipient of a gift.
Son’s Birthday - Celebrate his life. This eating is called being a good parent.
Fourth of July - John Adams liked a good meal, honor him this day.
Labor Day - Supporting my local food growers by eating a lot of local food.
Other Son’s Birthday – A lot of people have more than one child so you wouldn’t want anyone left out. (Add as many birthday’s as needed after you get a good head count on the number of kids you have.)
Halloween - Is it fair for only the legions of neighbor kids to enjoy Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups?  No it is not. Partake.
Saturdays – This is like a holiday every week.
Even days of the month – The reason for this is lost to history but it has something to do with the fate of the planet.
Fridays- This is the weekly pilgrimage to worship the unlimited nacho chip appetizer bowl.
Cold Days (under 25 degrees out) - Eating to add a layer of insulation is a survival technique, look at bears, whales, and various woodchucks.
Hot Days – You must replace the fluids with sugar.
Today-  Well duh, or course today.

It seems a sensible way to have a healthy relationship with food. Thanks. I’m going go have some leftovers. If I’ve forgotten any days please add them.

RR

P.S. I need some advice about images on blogs? I’m basically looking for a free public domain image source. A pic or two could break up the long unbroken rambling. Or I could just not ramble I suppose. Thank you and enjoy the leftovers!