Moms and Dads: If you have household budget issues, this is not the year to fight the battle over back-to-school peer pressure on expenses.

Just because you or your children think every kid in your school is going to bring a gift for the teacher, wear a brand-new outfit on the first day, spend Labor Day weekend at Mackinac Island, sign up for the senior class trip, spend hundreds of dollars on a homecoming dance dress, participate in a sports travel league, have their own geeked-out laptop computer, and drive themselves to school in their own vehicle rather than ride the school bus … it doesn’t mean your kid has to do all that too!

I can hear you moms muttering “Yeah, right. That crazy blogger’s kid is in college. What does she have to worry about? Who does her kid have to fit in with? What does she have to prove?”

Well, my daughter will be a sophomore this fall at a private women’s college. A lot of students there have lifestyles that are way beyond our household income bracket.

Daughter and I had some discussions about those demographics before she went off to campus. I wondered how a K-12 public school girl with limited funds would fit in. As it turns out, my daughter connected with her friends through common interests and experiences rather than with money. After all, private school girls also belong to choir, yearbook staff, Girl Scouts and do community service — just like my daughter did when attending Monroe High.

In comparison, I think those who have kids in school in southeast Michigan have less peer pressure to worry about this year than my daughter might see on her campus. How many local families do you know who are also struggling to make ends meet? Their children won’t enjoy all the latest, coolest, things either … unless Mom and Dad made very deliberate decisions as to what they will spend money on.

Our approach to keep our sanity throughout the school years was: pick your battles. Some ideas to get you thinking:

• Maybe the students can pick out one new pair of name brand jeans from the department store – and three others from the thrift shop.
• Maybe Mom thought it was sensible for the student to purchase her own graphing calculator for math class rather than borrow a calculator; but will expect a bookbag to last a second year to help make up for the expense.
• Maybe Dad pays for all uniform, team registrations, pay-to-play and camp expenses relating to one sport – but that offer is good for only one sport this year rather than two or three.
• Maybe this is the year you buy the high school varsity jacket, and next year is when you buy the high school ring.
• Maybe senior year is the only year you buy any formal dress she wants, while younger girls are expected to pick from budget-priced dresses.
• Maybe you can talk Grandma and Grandpa out of buying so many toys for Christmas and birthday,  and instead take the children on a clothes-shopping spree. (They can enjoy a family “modeling show” afterward.)
• Maybe you can invoke a family rule before shopping that the children can select their favorite one or two licensed logo / pricey school supply pieces — as long as they accept the lowest-priced options for the rest of their back-to-school purchases.
• Maybe owning a car isn’t an option for teen-agers, but sharing a car could be. My daughter drove my car to school one day a week when she was a high school senior. She was less rushed with her morning routine, and was able to participate in after-school clubs, as compared to days when she rode the bus. I took my lunch to work on those days rather than going home as is my routine, and scheduled my appointments accordingly.