My husband, daughter and I have lived in Monroe, Mich., for eight years. But we are originally from northwest Ohio, and most of our family and long-time friends still live in that area.

And so, this is one of those posts where my story takes place in Ohio.

Last week, a long-time family friend, Sandusky County Sheriff David Gangwer of Fremont, Ohio, died. My husband and I both had professional dealings with Sheriff Dave when we were working in the news media in Fremont.

It was possible for me to visit during the calling hours Thursday night, and for both of us to attend the funeral services Friday morning. We also wrote a letter to the family explaining how much we appreciated his “above and beyond” efforts to work with the reporters at Fremont’s newspaper and radio station over the years.

Sheriff Dave was well known and highly respected, and this was said to be the biggest funeral ever seen in the city of Fremont. My husband and I did attend the church service, but didn’t go to the cemetery. Instead, we stood by at the church to watch the start of the police car procession. Many people we knew were among those who stood along the streets throughout the city in respect as the procession drove by.

You’ll find the stories, photos and forum comments posted at The News-Messenger. There also are video clips at WTOL and WTVG that those of you who watch Toledo TV likely saw on the evening news programs Friday.

It was a wonderful send-off for a wonderful man.

On the way home, my husband and I drove past a traffic accident a few miles west of Fremont.

We are very familiar with that intersection. It’s where a two-lane state highway crosses a four-lane federal highway …. and the four-lane road has the right-of-way. There’s a bit of patience and lane-crossing required to get through safely if you are crossing or turning from the two-lane highway.

We took our time to get through the traffic backup and went about our way, with our only annoyance a driver who insisted on trying to cut in front of us.

About three hours later, we got a phone call from my best friend.

Her mother was killed in that traffic accident we saw. (News-Messenger story)

Given the tentative schedule, we may or may not be able to attend the public services. But we are expecting to pay a condolence call in person even if we have to do it outside of the designated hours. After all, we have known the family for many years.

Now … how does this all relate to living on a budget in Monroe, Mich.?

Well, think about what one would normally do when a friend or relative dies. There will be expenses incurred on short notice, but you can mitigate the out-of-pocket expenses.

Here’s what we do:

• We absolutely attend whatever services we can on behalf of people that we know; and if we can’t attend, we at least send a card. The gas money for out-of-town trips, to us, is not a concern because we don’t spend much money on other funeral expenses.
• I do not buy greeting cards at the gift store. I handcraft all my cards except Christmas cards. My craft supply investment has saved me a bundle of money over the years. I have rubber stamps featuring Jesus, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Easter cross to use as appropriate for Catholic and Christian friends, and a “with deepest sympathy” phrase stamp for those whom a secular card is better suited.
• We gave up on ordering flower arrangements. The last time I sent flowers to a funeral was in 1997, and I was shocked at how small of a basket I got for $30. My siblings also pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck. Here’s what happens instead: my parents traditionally order potted plants for a funeral gift, and they tag the funeral card on behalf of the entire family. (Another option is making a donation to the family’s designated memorial charity.)
• My husband and I are old-fashioned enough that we do wear dressy attire to funerals, weddings, christenings and such. We therefore have a “one good suit” rule. Each of us always has at least one “Sunday best” outfit cleaned, fitted and ready to wear on short notice as appropriate. Yes, my husband who works at a blue collar factory job really does own a formal men’s suit. After we got the phone call from my friend, we were doing emergency laundry last night. Now what about my husband’s dry clean-only attire? I have some of those dryer sheets that dry clean clothes — we only need to take clothing to the professional cleaners once a year.
• What about the custom of close friends and neighbors bringing food to the family? I relied on my “potluck emergency” supplies that I built up during pantry sales and will bring a beautiful chocolate pound cake to my friend’s home this weekend.
• Consider making a condolence phone call to the family if it’s too far to travel or the service arrangements don’t work out for you. Many of you have landline or cell phone bundle contracts that include free long distance phone calls on nights and weekends, if not all the time. It won’t cost anything to make a call during your “free minues.” Yes, one can send e-mails, but I think a phone call is far more special, don’t you?