My husband and I don’t usually watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

But we knew that last night’s (Nov. 16) episode featured the Aaron and Jackie Frisch family of Toledo and decided to tune in. My husband was born and raised in Toledo, and we were very impressed how the residents of that city rallied together to help one of its own.

During tight financial times such as we are seeing now in southeast Michigan and northwest Ohio, a lot of families seek out financial assistance.

Most of those stories will never be told on a one-hour TV show.

But you can learn something from the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition projects on what to expect, and what is expected of you, when you are looking for help:

Follow all the application rules and deadlines. There is a detailed application process and specific expectations for a family to be selected for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. There also are application procedures for food stamps, college scholarships, Christmas food baskets and most other need-based assistance programs. The people who have the money get to make the rules, whether it be a government agency, a private foundation or whatever. If you don’t follow the rules or don’t meet the guidelines, don’t expect to get the assistance. You’re not the family that funding was intended for. Seek out other opportunities instead.

“Deserving families” tend to get a bigger response when they seek help. This family was picked out of thousands that apply to the show every week. Why? The point was made repeatedly on the episode how many people noticed the kindness that Mr. and Mrs. Frisch displayed by adopting several children out of poverty, and the service that Aaron provides to his community as a firefighter and paramedic. People were GLAD to help them after Jackie became ill and the couple needed help to make a better home for their children. So consider this: How would your family stand out in the crowd if you asked for help when limited funds were available? What is your family’s reputation for helping others and volunteering in the community? What is your family’s proven ability to handle responsibilities? And would your sponsors be embarrassed should your family undergo a background check?

Thank your fundraising sponsors and volunteers. The Extreme Makeover: Home Edition projects get a lot of attention because they are sponsored by a TV show. The Toledo media provided a lot of additional news coverage from the local angle. There even was a story in The Monroe Evening News regarding an encounter between Ty Pennington and a Monroe family. But don’t count on the news media to thank your sponsors for you. During the one-hour TV show, I noticed a limited amount of name-dropping. Good manners calls for you to personally thank your fundraising sponsors or volunteers whether it by e-mail, handwritten note, thank-you dinner, flowers or contributing in turn to their favorite causes. (Extreme Makeover lists all of its sponsors on its web site.)

Every little bit helps. Ty Pennington is the host of the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition show. But he can’t take on that project all by himself. It’s just as important to that TV show to have a crowd of bystanders standing on the street, cheering as the family sees their new home for the first time. So be just as gracious to the people who cheer you on through difficult times, as to those who write the checks.

If you want to follow up on the Toledo media coverage, WTVG Channel 13 is the local ABC affiliate and here is one of the video clips. The Toledo Blade also has been covering the story and here is the “premiere showing” article.