Just say “no” to panhandlers
I’ve been approached by beggars, homeless people and panhandlers before. But yesterday I had two such encounters in Monroe, Mich., and it’s quite possible with the economic situation that others in southeast Michigan and northwest Ohio also are running into more of these scenarios.
Here is the appropriate response when you are approached by someone who is asking for money, “Sorry, no.” And then walk or drive away. (See eHow’s How to deal with an aggressive panhandler.)
Everybody has a story. The beggar who approached me in the St. Mary’s Park parking lot Sunday morning wanted breakfast. I told her about the God Works! dinners that are free to the public in the city of Monroe. She knew about the dinners, but she wanted something to eat for breakfast.
When she asked again for “spare change to buy a doughnut,” I said, “sorry, no.”
Now here’s the picture: I had just parked a 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt in the parking lot and was walking toward church. I was wearing dress clothes of black pants, black shoes and short-sleeved brown top. This woman thought I had money, or at least more money than she did, and that I was a potential source of cash.
So I said, “My husband has been unemployed since May 1.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. And she moved on.
Now, while I have been approached by beggars before, 7:25 a.m. Sunday in St. Mary’s Park seemed a bit unusual. I am sure there’s a reason she was taking her appeal to the early morning St. Mary’s Church attendees.
However, had she asked one of the church staff for groceries, there was a basket of food pantry donations right inside the church lobby.
So what did you think she really wanted the money for?
About 12 hours later, my husband and I had arrived back home in Monroe from an Sunday visit with family in Ohio. We pulled up to the TA Truck Stop / BP gas station on N. Dixie Hwy. to buy gas. We buy gas at that truck stop all the time, but have never had this happen to us:
As I was standing at the gas pump, a woman approached and asked for “spare change” because she had run out of gas. She looked like she had just woken up and was wearing pajama pants and a T-shirt.
“Sorry, no,” was my response. The only items I had in my hand were the gas card and my keys. My husband was sitting in the car, and my purse was in the car.
Gas was $2.69 a gallon yesterday. How much gas do you think “spare change” would get her? Furthermore, I didn’t see any stranded vehicle parked in the parking lot.
What do you think she wanted that money for?
We took off as quick as possible, but I noticed in the meantime she had convinced a couple in another vehicle to dig into their wallet.
Now, before you start fussing about “that stranded motorist could be you,” I do have a story to tell from my college days about being stranded on a highway in 1985 when a motorcycle broke down during a road trip. The logistical problems that my boyfriend and I ran into while trying to get home that day would have been resolved a lot faster with access to today’s cell phones and MasterCard/Visa branded debit cards.
And today, in Monroe, Mich., there also are alternatives to begging in order to get emergency needs met. That’s why I have no sympathy for the panhandlers who have been seen with signs at the corner of Mall Rd. and Telegraph Rd., and at the southbound exit ramp from I-75 at N. Dixie Hwy.
If you are in need of help with a bill, shelter, housing or groceries, call the 211 hotline. A human resources specialist affiliated with the United Way will direct you to the appropriate agencies and services to contact. They’ll tell you about things like the God Works dinners held every night in Monroe and once or twice a week in some of the nearby cities.
You’ll also find a big regional list of assistance agencies at Julie’s List. Yes, Julie’s List is an Internet referral service. But there are public access terminals at the local libraries, where anyone who can’t afford a computer of their own can look up her information.
What you want to do, as a family on a budget, is make your household funds last as long as possible so you don’t end up in a worst-case scenario. That needs to be your goal whether your income comes from a steady job with overtime pay, a welfare card, or somewhere in between. That’s the purpose of the Monroe on a Budget blog: to explain practical steps on how families in Monroe County, Mich., can stretch their funds.
But a large part of the cause for panhandling is on the people who respond to unverified appeals for help.
Quit listening to the stories on the street, and direct your funds to the agencies and programs that already exist to help homeless and needy people with shelter, groceries and medical care. Or if you are so moved, start a new non-profit initiative to help with unmet needs.
If a panhandler can’t acquire cash by begging, they’ll leave that neighborhood.
I would like to say they’ll stop doing it completely, but apparently there’s always someone somewhere who will give up some spare change.
If you want an idea of how other communities have been handling this situation, The Center for Problem Oriented Policing has a detailed report on Panhandling.
(Update: the MonroeTalkers have started a discussion thread on this topic.)
Updated: I did shut off comments to this thread because the comments went way beyond discussion into nastiness. But The Sept. 13, 2009 bulletin from my parish has this note from the pastor:
Recently a woman has been outside of church soliciting financial help. This individual is well known to the parish St. Vincent de Paul Society. We all want to help those in need, and we should. The most effective way you can help any individual who approaches you in this way is to refer them to our St. Vincent de Paul Society. Please do not attempt to help by giving out cash to individuals outside of church or agreeing to provide rides for them in your car. Of course, it is not a good idea to provide a ride to anyone you do not know well. Anyone who needs help can contact our parish office 734-241-1644. It is possible that a person in this situation may be trying to take advantage of the generous good will of others. I ask that – instead of providing individual help to someone outside of church, that you support our parish St. Vincent de Paul Society.
Reminder: if you see a panhandler and say “it could be me,” then think about the places and organizations you would seek help from when you are out of cash - and financially support those agencies and services.
Posted: June 22nd, 2009 under Charities and donations, My 2 Cents.
Comments: 11
Comments
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 22, 2009, 9:40 pm
One could argue that proper response would be for me to have walked with the woman to the bakery to buy her a doughnut; or to call 211 on my cell phone to find her appropriate services at that hour of the morning.
But to give a beggar cash? No.
Comment from Jessesmom
Time: June 22, 2009, 10:20 pm
Judge not lest ye be judged!
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 23, 2009, 3:41 am
Perhaps you got the impression that I don’t assist the needy or contribute to worthy causes. I do.
If you are a long-time reader, you’ve seen me mention some of those efforts. I do it through more appropriate means such as helping to serve the God Works dinners, taking food to the food pantry boxes and donating my shopper card points to charitable efforts.
Besides, as a safety issue, it it really a smart thing to be digging into your purse / wallet when a stranger approaches for money? There are robberies that take place in the city of Monroe. I’m one of the reporters who picks up the police reports and court dockets that get listed in The Monroe Evening News.
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 23, 2009, 6:08 am
If you are interested, there are Scripture references on how the early church responded to the needy.
Acts 4: 32-35: The money that the early Christians provided as blessings to the community were first presented to the apostles, and then those funds were allocated “to each one according to his need.”
Acts 6: 1-6: Peter and the apostles appointed several men who were tasked with “the daily distribution of funds” to the needy, so that the apostles would have the time to attend to other duties.
Keep in mind that the apostles had directly worked and studied with Jesus for years. Therefore they had a pretty good idea how to put his teachings into practical use.
Given those examples, it is a responsibility of the community as a whole to financially provide for the needy. It is also an appropriate response to direct those funds and requests through people who have been specifically tasked to make the decisions on who, when and how.
Comment from Judy Hamby
Time: June 23, 2009, 3:42 pm
I live in NE Tennessee. When going to lunch from my job one day I saw a panhandler standing in front of the business with a sign “Will work for food”. I could see him from the window of the business so during the day I watched with wonder as many people stopped and I assume gave him money. One man brought a bag from McDonalds while I watched in amazement as he walked to the shopping center trash can and promptly threw the bag in the trash can. At the end of the day I continued to watch. About 5:00 p.m. I watched as his wife and two children showed up from various directions. They walked about a block away to a parking lot where they proceeded to climb into a brand new Cadillac SUV and drive off. From that point on I have never given to any panhandler. Unfortunately, I can not convince my husband to stop. We give to qualified charities often, that’s where my money will always go from now on. Terrific article!
Comment from Astonished
Time: June 23, 2009, 7:08 pm
Truly, I’m astonished by your self-righteous heartlessness. You were on your way to morning mass and someone approached you because they were hungry.
You told them they could get DINNER (several hours away) while you proceeded to march yourself into the church. I’d be willing to bet YOU had a full belly. How small minded!
I’ve been approached many times by ‘panhandlers’. Depending on where they approach me, I handle it different ways. Once I was approached at a convenience store / gas station. A woman asked me for money to buy something to eat. I walked her into the store and told her to choose something to eat from the selection they offered.
She looked at the variety of food available and chose the largest sandwich. She then looked back at me and asked if she could have two. I agreed. She also chose a quart of milk. I paid for it and left the store knowing I had helped someone.
As far as your post quoting scriptures, as in what would Jesus do? It doesn’t really apply in cases where people are in immediate need and can’t wait hours, days, or in some cases weeks for a meal.
How cruel to suggest that people reduced to asking strangers for help are really asking for money for something illegal or illicit.
It’s disgusting actually.
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 23, 2009, 7:14 pm
I normally don’t quote Scripture on this blog, which why I’m surprised the earlier readers did refer to the Bible. The posts where I have discussed faith as it overlaps with money have focused more on the financial side.
The response I gave from the Scriptures was, hopefully, one that they understood.
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 23, 2009, 7:23 pm
By the way people, I really did have no cash in my purse that morning. My husband has been on layoff since May 1. I haven’t been to the doughnut shop myself since Easter Sunday. We really do use Angel Food Ministries and coupon tricks to keep groceries in the house.
The only way I could have fed that woman myself on Sunday morning was to drive her back to my housel.
Comment from Astonished
Time: June 23, 2009, 7:31 pm
You should stick to not quoting Scripture since I don’t believe Jesus Christ would have taken the hard hearted approach you’ve taken here.
You repeatedly have suggested that everyone who is down on their luck really has a nefarious purpose such as using money for drugs or alcohol.
No, you didn’t come right out and say THAT, but you sure implied it. As I mentioned, depending on where someone approaches me, I handle the situation accordingly.
No. I would not give money to someone if they were standing outside a bar. I guess I’m just one of those people who give others the benefit of the doubt rather than acting self-righteous. You were approached entering a CHURCH.
Did it ever occur to you, that this woman chose a church because she was of the mistaken belief that church going people might be more sympathetic to her plight?
I’m guessing not based on your tone and the way you handled the situation.
Comment from Paula Wethington
Time: June 23, 2009, 7:34 pm
I’m willing to listen to people who disagree, but I won’t put up with people exaggerating what I said.
Comments will be closed.
Comment from Monroe Housewife
Time: June 22, 2009, 9:11 pm
First Paula I am a faithful reader of your blog. I follow your directions and have saved a lot of money. I really had a hard time with your advice on panhandlers. Telling the woman about the God Works Dinner was good, but really would you like to eat only once a day ? You think she was a fraud, perhaps, perhaps not. But I know Jesus would have fed her. And no the Church would not have given her the pantry items because they have to go thru the appropriate office at the appropriate time etc. Telling people to not help others is unkind. Your suffering so are other people. Some way worse off than you. And you were on your way to church too ? I don’t understand your brand of religion.