Nevaeh Buchanan, a 5-year-old who lived in Monroe, was noticed missing from her apartment complex on the evening of May 24. An Amber Alert was issued early Memorial Day on her behalf.

Hundreds of law enforcement officers and civilian volunteers were involved with searching for the girl, distributing Amber Alert posters, prayer vigils, and wearing yellow ribbons in hopes of finding Nevaeh. One of the relatives gave me a yellow ribbon that I have since hung on my newsroom computer.

Nevaeh’s body was found Thursday a few miles away from Monroe, along the River Raisin. Her obituary is in today’s newspaper and can be found here. No arrest has been made in the case.

I have been involved with this case both with some of the news stories (Nevaeh archives at monroenews.com); and also as social media liaison for The Monroe Evening News on our reader forum, MonroeTalks, and feeding our twitter.

Now, the community of Monroe, Mich., has a very strong tradition of community service. I am not surprised at all to have seen and and heard about hundreds of people who showed up at her apartment complex or at the parking lot of the nearby Kmart store day after day, asking “What can I do to help?”

Very early in the investigation, there was one credit union fund set aside as a reward fund; and a separate credit union fund that, if needed, would pay for her funeral. There were also were donations made to help with canteen services for the law enforcement investigators, and a variety of donations made on behalf of the family and volunteer searchers.

One of the announcements in Wednesday’s edition of The Monroe Evening News is that the Community Foundation of Monroe County has established the Nevaeh Buchanan Memorial Fund. Today’s newspaper has the added detail that donations can be made at any branch of Monroe Bank & Trust (a local bank).

Now what I find particularly interesting is how the Community Foundation plans to use any leftover funds:

If excess funds are collected, it will form the basis for an interest-bearing endowment to pay for future funeral costs for children of indigent families, said Kathleen Russeau, executive director.

If you have wanted to help with the cause financially, but had concerns about where the money might go, this project is a fitting tribute to a little girl who did not deserve her terrible fate. Donations to this fund, if it is built up, can help other children in Monroe County, Mich., get a proper funeral.

I have been a newspaper reporter for more than 20 years. Very early in my career, I knew of stories about families who had no means to pay for funeral expenses for children who died at a young age from illness or car accidents. I was so upset by those situations that I took out a small life insurance policy on my daughter when she was a year old. The policy was / is intended to be enough to bury her in proper fashion should that ever be necessary.

Many families don’t make those plans for their children – whether it be a life insurance policy, a burial plot or a pre-paid funeral. It’s an expense they may not want to take on, or a situation they think will never happen.

It can happen.

Yes, funeral homes often work with families to prepare a simple burial or cremation where the expenses are not so high. That was done two years ago for my uncle / godfather.

Yes, one can arrange a benefit dinner to assist a family with medical and funeral expenses. I’m the reporter who gets the fundraiser notices listed in our newspaper, so I know about the time and effort it takes to get such dinners organized and promoted.

Yes, there may be funds available from public and private sources to provide for burial of the indigent. But it’s often not very much, since those resources are limited.

Nevaeh’s legacy now includes a children’s funeral fund at the Community Foundation for local families who cannot afford such expenses on their own.

If you would like to help in this effort, checks should be made payable to the Community Foundation of Monroe County, noting on the check that it is for the Nevaeh Buchanan Memorial Fund. The foundation is at 28 S. Macomb St., Monroe, Mich. 48161 The phone number is (734) 242-1976.

The above photo is in today’s edition of The Monroe Evening News as part of an article about the funeral arrangements. All photos on Monroe on a Budget are copyright by Monroe Publishing Co., the publisher of Monroe Evening News and sponsor of this blog.

One of the funeral expenses that families have quite a bit of control over are the obituary publication fees.

The way you do that is to limit how much information goes into the obituary – versus what can be announced during the services, put on display during the calling hours, or said via a personally written thank-you card.

When The Monroe Evening News in Monroe, Mich., went to a paid obituary policy almost two years ago, we were one of the last daily newspapers in the country to make that switch. The metro newspapers had made that conversion many years earlier, and many of the community newspapers also were starting to do that.

Why did newspapers start to charge for obituaries? Aren’t obituaries “news”?

The money-making aspect was certainly part of the discussion at a time when other sources of newspaper revenue have been disappearing.

But it has also become obvious that families no longer considered the traditional news obituary format to be appropriate. They wanted to include friends as survivors who were not legally part of the family. They wanted to include pets’ names. They wanted to include “thank you’s” to the medical staff. I could go on and on with examples.

The worst scenarios happened when two sides of the family disagreed as to who should be listed in the obituary. On more than one occasion over the years, I had family members at my desk, crying because whomever sent the original obituary notice to the newspaper left their side of the family out of the survivors’ list.

I was on the committee that wrote our current obituary policy.

We made The Monroe Evening News obituary procedure as simple as possible: $50 per obituary, per date of publication. This allows you up to 400 words to say whatever you want, however you want. This also allows one photo plus a military or religion icon if you want. (And if two sides of the family want different versions of the obituary, each publication is only $50.)

Given the fact that our average published obituary is 250 to 300 words, the word limit is pretty flexible.

When family members tell me “I can’t make it any shorter,” I encourage them to do what they can to stay under the 400-word limit. It is much easier for me and my co-workers at the obituary desk to give a flat fee quote than to go through all the procedures for “space used” pricing on the lengthier obituaries.

And you’ll be a lot happier with the final cost. The lengthier obits in my newspaper typically cost $175 to $250. I’ve even seen one from my newspaper that had a $450 bill.

If all you want is a one paragraph “death notice” with the person’s name, date of death and funeral home, we can run that at no charge. As soon as you start requesting additional details such as “please add her husband’s name,” “please add service arrangements,” etc., the notice falls into the $50 obituary category.

Even though this example is specific to my newspaper’s procedures, the concept holds up no matter where you are placing an obituary:  The more words you put in the published newspaper obituary, the more it’s going to cost.

Here is what should go in an obituary:

• Full  name, including nicknames and maiden names if appropriate, of the deceased.
• Immediate survivors.
• Name of the funeral home or cremation society.
• Time and date of services.

The rest of it is just details. You figure out which details are important enough to pay for.

A snippet:

Industry insiders say more people are economizing on funerals by cutting back on elements such as limousines, wakes and embalming – and opting for cremations rather than burials.

“Let’s face it, passing away is not a choice,” said John Chasca, president of the Cremation Association of North America. “If there aren’t funds available for a traditional funeral, people will opt for something less expensive.”

My job duties for The Monroe Evening News include handling obituaries. Yes, we’ve noticed more families in recent years opting for cremations or fewer ceremonies than was once common.

When my uncle / godfather died two years ago, we had the first cremation in our family. He had been ill with cancer for a long time and was running out of money. My uncle was divorced, and had no children. So my mother and grandfather were his next of kin, and they made the arrangements.

Although it was a low-cost funeral, it was also a funeral that kept all the rituals and traditions my family was accustomed to.

Yes, the cremation arrangements were less expensive than the customary open casket arrangements. But the family still arranged for obituaries in three newspapers, a two-hour visiting time at the funeral home with a wake service, vehicle procession from the funeral home to the church for the Catholic funeral Mass, burial of the cremains in a gravesite that had long been paid for, and military graveside ceremonies from his Veterans of Foreign Wars post.

After all, once you think through the details, many of the rituals we consider as part of American funeral traditions can be easily adapted to a low-cost cremation situation.

Should there be a wedding, a funeral, Christmas Eve Mass, Easter Sunday services, or other event for which good manners and old school tradition would call for suit and tie / dress or skirt, we dress accordingly. The fact that we are living on a budget doesn’t deter us from following that custom. We just figure out the most frugal way to do it.

Now, for my husband, this is easy to do. His clothing sizes have not changed much over the years. He has one suit, one or two pairs of dress pants, one or two ties, a couple of sweaters and a couple of dress shirts. Yes, this is a man who works in a factory all day. But he has a selection of “dress up” attire in classic colors, takes good care of it, and it’s always ready to go when needed.

My worker bee clothing is office attire. So the dress shoes, black pants and dressy top / sweater / blazer that I usually wear to work is suitable for most formal occasions.

There are some occasions, however, when I need to bump up the fashion a notch. The further complication is that my clothing sizes have varied quite a bit over the years, and my spring suit and summer dress currently do not fit.

I need something right now.

Here’s my new “Sunday Best” dress. I bought it at JC Penney in Toledo this morning for $40, on sale. It’s a sleeveless black and white dress with a black sweater. Wear it with the sweater for a funeral call I am making this weekend, wear it without the sweater to my friend’s wedding this spring, and Easter can be with or without sweater depending on the weather.

If you haven’t figured this out already, I do not like to spend money on clothes. I get basic pieces that never go out of style as cheaply as possible (hand-me-downs and thrift shop pieces are part of the mix) and generally wear the pieces out before getting rid of them.

But when I do need to spend real money on attire, I look for getting the most use out of it as possible. Three events with one dress during the next three months is a pretty good return on investment.

The other purchase I made today at JCP was a pair of black dressy loafer-style shoes for $35, also on sale. I have completely worn out the pair I usually wear to work, and it’s time to replace them with as good of a pair as I can afford.

However, my other dress shoes and sneakers last as much as three to four years each with the minimal wear I put on them. So it’s not a bad deal to be buying a new pair of work shoes every 8 to 12 months.

And I exited the department store as soon as my purchase decisions were made. I did not go looking in the other aisles to see whatever else might get my attention. I did not cruise the mall to admire the boutiques. I did not eat lunch at the food court.

I left without spending any more money than I had to, for what I needed today.

In the Crown Financial Ministries household budget plan, the insurance expense category includes life, health, vision, dental and disability insurance premiums. It doesn’t include homeowner’s or auto insurance, or out-of-pocket medical expenses, which show up elsewhere.

The problem is many of you are paying quite a bit out-of-pocket in employee “shares” for health and related insurance policies, and you’re not the one who decides how much comes out of the paycheck to pay for those benefits. So you may have cut back elsewhere in your household budget to make the numbers work.

That being said, here are some tips on how to deal with this expense in a downsized budget:

• Cooperate as much as possible with a change in doctor request. If the grudge against accepting a cheaper health insurance plan is that you would have to change doctors, is that really a problem or not? Yes, that will be a problem if the recommended doctors are out of your area – and I’ve heard stories about that situation. But in other cases, the only logistic is selecting another practice. Can you take the list of acceptable or participating doctors to your current physician and ask for his or her recommendation in who to select and cooperation in transferring your files?
• Find out what other benefits you can get from that insurance company. There are some health insurance programs that can provide you with discounted services on fitness or nutrition programs, and some that can provide discounts on over-the-counter medications. If you’ve got perks like that coming, figure out how to use them to your benefit.
• Carefully review your life insurance policies. Perhaps you have a free but low benefit life insurance policy already in effect. If so, keep any additional life policy that you pay for as low budget as possible. If you can’t afford a standard life insurance policy, then keep at least a small policy that will pay for burial expenses or set up a pre-paid funeral plan. Do you really want your family to have to arrange for a spaghetti dinner to help pay for your funeral costs? I’ve seen it happen in Monroe.
• Pay close attention to the details if you want to switch health plans. It may be possible for you to put the family on the other spouse’s health plan. But did you get grandfathered into a lower rate plan, and what happens if you need to suddenly switch back? And if you have a child who is part of a divorce or custody decree, that adds a whole other set of complexities as to which insurance policy needs to stay in effect.

A snippet:

In a growing number of cases, local medical examiners are reporting that some families can’t even afford to claim their loved ones’ remains. Many more … are now planning do-it-yourself home funerals. Also, local funeral homes say they have seen a dramatic increase in cremations, which typically are cheaper than standard funerals.

The article includes an explanation of Michigan laws regarding disposition of the deceased and examples of what some Detroit families have done when they can’t afford traditional funeral arrangements.

My family has some experience with this situation.

My uncle died of cancer in July 2007. He was divorced and had no children, which meant my mother and grandfather were his next of kin. My uncle was in such dire financial straits that summer that he was preparing to move in with my parents before his last hospital admission.

It was the first time anyone in our immediate family had been cremated. It was also the most low-budget sendoff we have been involved with.

But my uncle received all the rituals, prayers, processions, memorial speeches, photo display at the funeral home, Catholic Mass, luncheon, newspaper obituaries and flag ceremonies that are traditional in our family and to an Army veteran.

How did we do that?

The expense was scaled back because of cremation arrangements, a burial plot that was already available for him, and scheduling a two-hour wake at the funeral home instead of a four-hour wake as is customary in my parents’ city.

And since my uncle had long been a member of his Veterans of Foreign Wars honor guard, his VFW friends helped the family arrange the military ceremony at graveside and hosted a luncheon.

It was really a quite nice send-off.

And so, this is one of those posts where my story takes place in Ohio.

Last week, a long-time family friend, Sandusky County Sheriff David Gangwer of Fremont, Ohio, died. My husband and I both had professional dealings with Sheriff Dave when we were working in the news media in Fremont.

It was possible for me to visit during the calling hours Thursday night, and for both of us to attend the funeral services Friday morning. We also wrote a letter to the family explaining how much we appreciated his “above and beyond” efforts to work with the reporters at Fremont’s newspaper and radio station over the years.

Sheriff Dave was well known and highly respected, and this was said to be the biggest funeral ever seen in the city of Fremont. My husband and I did attend the church service, but didn’t go to the cemetery. Instead, we stood by at the church to watch the start of the police car procession. Many people we knew were among those who stood along the streets throughout the city in respect as the procession drove by.

You’ll find the stories, photos and forum comments posted at The News-Messenger. There also are video clips at WTOL and WTVG that those of you who watch Toledo TV likely saw on the evening news programs Friday.

It was a wonderful send-off for a wonderful man.

On the way home, my husband and I drove past a traffic accident a few miles west of Fremont.

We are very familiar with that intersection. It’s where a two-lane state highway crosses a four-lane federal highway …. and the four-lane road has the right-of-way. There’s a bit of patience and lane-crossing required to get through safely if you are crossing or turning from the two-lane highway.

We took our time to get through the traffic backup and went about our way, with our only annoyance a driver who insisted on trying to cut in front of us.

About three hours later, we got a phone call from my best friend.

Her mother was killed in that traffic accident we saw. (News-Messenger story)

Given the tentative schedule, we may or may not be able to attend the public services. But we are expecting to pay a condolence call in person even if we have to do it outside of the designated hours. After all, we have known the family for many years.

Now … how does this all relate to living on a budget in Monroe, Mich.?

Well, think about what one would normally do when a friend or relative dies. There will be expenses incurred on short notice, but you can mitigate the out-of-pocket expenses.

Here’s what we do:

• We absolutely attend whatever services we can on behalf of people that we know; and if we can’t attend, we at least send a card. The gas money for out-of-town trips, to us, is not a concern because we don’t spend much money on other funeral expenses.
• I do not buy greeting cards at the gift store. I handcraft all my cards except Christmas cards. My craft supply investment has saved me a bundle of money over the years. I have rubber stamps featuring Jesus, the Blessed Virgin Mary and the Easter cross to use as appropriate for Catholic and Christian friends, and a “with deepest sympathy” phrase stamp for those whom a secular card is better suited.
• We gave up on ordering flower arrangements. The last time I sent flowers to a funeral was in 1997, and I was shocked at how small of a basket I got for $30. My siblings also pretty much live paycheck-to-paycheck. Here’s what happens instead: my parents traditionally order potted plants for a funeral gift, and they tag the funeral card on behalf of the entire family. (Another option is making a donation to the family’s designated memorial charity.)
• My husband and I are old-fashioned enough that we do wear dressy attire to funerals, weddings, christenings and such. We therefore have a “one good suit” rule. Each of us always has at least one “Sunday best” outfit cleaned, fitted and ready to wear on short notice as appropriate. Yes, my husband who works at a blue collar factory job really does own a formal men’s suit. After we got the phone call from my friend, we were doing emergency laundry last night. Now what about my husband’s dry clean-only attire? I have some of those dryer sheets that dry clean clothes — we only need to take clothing to the professional cleaners once a year.
• What about the custom of close friends and neighbors bringing food to the family? I relied on my “potluck emergency” supplies that I built up during pantry sales and will bring a beautiful chocolate pound cake to my friend’s home this weekend.
• Consider making a condolence phone call to the family if it’s too far to travel or the service arrangements don’t work out for you. Many of you have landline or cell phone bundle contracts that include free long distance phone calls on nights and weekends, if not all the time. It won’t cost anything to make a call during your “free minues.” Yes, one can send e-mails, but I think a phone call is far more special, don’t you?

Be sure to research the Monroe County Health Department requirements for food permits as soon as you start planning your event. If you do not follow the food permit rules, the fines for any violations will eat into those fundraising dollars.

The Monroe Evening News has a story on line and on page 3A of today’s print and e-editions as to what’s involved.

In the meantime, to get a fundraiser listed on the Community Page of The Monroe Evening News and on the calendar at MonroeTalks, we need the notice at least a week before your event or reservation deadline. (The Community Page is often completed two to three days before actual publication.) E-mail me with the details, drop off the flier during business hours, mail it, fax it, whatever works for you as long as it actually arrives on my desk in plenty of time.

But if you really want to get the most publicity for your event, you need to start getting the word out four to five weeks ahead. There are lots of free possibilities that include hosting a MySpace or Facebook page, posting on other community calendars, listing in local church bulletins, asking clubs to mention the event at their meetings or in their newsletters, posting at the local credit unions, listing it on Monroe Public Access Cable Television … but many of those possibilities need at least two to four weeks notice to result in enough traffic or visibility for follow-up contacts and reservations.

Bill had been ill for a long time. There had been recent discussions about Bill closing out his apartment and moving in with my parents and grandfather. So you can imagine what his finances must have been like.

Given the circumstances, Bill had a low-budget send-off. It was the first time anyone in my immediate family had a cremation instead of open casket services. It was also a relatively small funeral. If you include those who served in his honor guard at the cemetery, there were maybe 50 people who paid their respects in person.

But he got all the rituals, prayers, processions, memorial speeches, luncheons and services that are traditional in our family and to an Army veteran. The amount of money that was spent made no difference in the love and respect that was shown by his family and friends during the time of mourning.

During Bill’s last days, Dad and I discussed via e-mail what details were important to include in the obituary and collaborated on the writing. After the service details were set, the funeral home sent the obituary to three Ohio newspapers that would reach the most family and friends.

My mother showed me the itemized funeral bill on Saturday. Each newspaper was sent the same notice. One charged $77. One charged $290. And the third charged $360.

Even though Dad and I wrote the obituary in a traditional newspaper format, this was a family-written notice. It wasn’t written by a reporter at the newspapers where it would be published. And we, as the family, specified which newspapers should get the obituary.

So it was appropriate for the family to pay for the obituary publications as part of Bill’s funeral expenses.

As it turns out, my job as a Community Page reporter at The Monroe Evening News includes working on the obituary desk. So I am well aware of the pros and cons of our existing policies, and what’s going to happen starting Wednesday.

When the new obituary procedures begin Wednesday, The Monroe Evening News will have three options: A short death notice available at no charge; an obituary of up to 400 words written by the family or funeral home with a photo for $50; or a longer obituary where the cost depends on the space that is used. (For more details, read the story here and editor Deb Saul’s column here.)

A lot of families on a budget will find the new policy to be a huge cost savings compared to the options they had before.

For example, under the previous policies, my parents, who live in Ohio, would not get full obituaries in The Monroe Evening News unless I paid for it. Their free notice would have listed only the times of services and my name as a local survivor.

The cost for an obituary placed through our advertising department is based on the space that is used. I kept samples at my desk with price quotes to show customers on request when they were deciding whether to place the obituary through the news department or the advertising department. So I know what the fees have been for families who wanted an alternative to the traditional free obituary.

Now that a less expensive option is available, I will definitely place my parents’ full obituary in The Monroe Evening News when they die.

Given the fees my family have been quoted from other newspapers where we would need to place a notice, the MEN is going to be the least expensive one on that list.

It’s our “one good suit” rule. No matter what you wear at work or at home on a daily basis, the concept is to keep one good formal suit in your wardrobe at all times, along with appropriate shirts and shoes and accessories, to wear at weddings, funerals, Easter Sunday or dress up events.

I wear business professional clothes to work, so a lot of my “everyday” clothes do double-duty for church and special events. And even though my husband works in a blue-collar environment, he keeps his “one good suit” in the closet, ready to wear when needed.

Last year, my teen-age daughter was required to wear business attire at some of her volunteer events. So my mother and I bought her brown suit, a tan suit, matching shoes and an assortment of blouses. This was a good investment. She has put that clothing to good use at several functions.

I didn’t own a formal suit at the time. So I bought myself a very lovely peach skirt and jacket.

Well … peach, while appropriate for happy occasions, is downright the wrong color for a funeral. And my office clothes that could double as funeral clothes are starting to wear out.

And I have a funeral to attend in the next few days.

So I spent part of my afternoon doing the on-line shopping thing. I ended up with black jacket, black skirt and two blouses. I picked out a brand of clothing I already own, to make sure the fit will be correct when they arrive.

If the shipment arrives after the funeral, that’s OK. I have a dark blue dress in my closet that is my backup outfit.

But that one good (dark) suit will be ready to pull out of the closet next time it is needed.