My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man’s doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny.

~ Elaine Maxwell

I was asked the other day by one of the coach’s in my natural childbirth class: “what did the women who took the class who weren’t successful at avoiding an epidural give for the reason?”.  I did not have an answer.  For one, I guess it’s not a question I would ask to a recovering mom who did decide to share her birth experience with me and two, I don’t know that they could even pinpoint it to a specific reason.

In generalities, the women I know who had the training and took an epidural experienced way longer that average labor (60 hours+).  I also know some others who had pre-existing conditions that could add a complication to a “normal” birth and they felt an epidural perhaps would progress their labor so they could avoid the dreaded cesarean section.

Hopefully, no women who desired a natural birth feels disappointed in her birth.  Again, in any case, healthy mother, healthy baby is the goal so it should not be looked at as a failure if you had the epidural.

If I had to cite some reasons that could perhaps answer my student’s question, I’d consider:

• did the mother and coach put in the dedicated time to learning and practicing the tools and techniques to relieve pain?  Remember you get out of it what you put in.
• was the coach on board with all the mother’s desires?  Was their relationship strong and filled with love and good communication?
• was there adequate research/learning on all the choices regarding labor and birth?  Doctors don’t always tell you everything you need to know.
• did the mother have good nutrition and exercise?  Strength, stamina and endurance are necessary.
• were the medical professionals and birth location conducive to natural birth?

Remember, we don’t know the states of minds of those involved at the time and even with all the preparation, you never know how you will respond or react to certain situations.  I am never judgemental of anyone who doesn’t succeed at natural childbirth.  I am aware how challenging it is and even having two drug free babies, I still think I could have made better choices or done something different to make it the birth experience of my dreams.  We shall see what lies ahead for this baby in my belly…

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.

~ Laurence J. Peter