Your Marriage CAN Be Saved: #8

(My back yard)

Renner’s seventh thing a husband should never do is this.

“Never make sexual innuendos about your wife in front of others. This is not only disrespectful, it is deeply offensive to a wife. Your sexual relationship is a time of intimacy that is to be shared only between the two of you. Therefore, when you make jokes about it or talk about it in front of others, you are humiliating your wife and making her feel cheap. This is certainly not a way to cherish her or to treat her like a treasure!”

The word “intimacy” is often translated, accurately I think, as “into me, see.” In marriage the physical act of sexual intercourse is, at its best, the tip of an iceberg (sorry for the ‘cold’ metaphor!) that is 10% physical and 90% spiritual and emotional. The sex act in marriage is greatest when grounded in a marital lifestyle of voluntary self-revealing between husband and wife. Husbands, your wife wants you not simply as some sex object but wants you as her best friend and spiritual companion. Spending time sharing the depths of your heart to her and listening to what’s going on in her heart will make the marital sex-act far more fulfilling to her, and to you as well.

(Over a period of 37 years Linda and I have counseled several hundred marriages in a variety of situations ranging from “need a tune-up” to “in cardiac arrest.” While we have at times wondered if a certain marriage would make it, we admit to having never met a marriage that we thought could not be saved and made better.)