The Cynical Critic

Last week the new Indiana Jones finally debuted, and for the most part, most hardcore fans of the series were disappointed. I went and saw the movie yesterday, and as I suspected, was mildly let down with the film as a whole. Anyway, I might as well give a review on the movie. However, I just got done reading something about this film before I wrote this, and to tell you the truth it kind of has put me in a crappier mood than before. In fact, it kind of has changed my outlook on this movie as a whole. Eh. More on this later.

So, as you know by now a fourth Indy movie has been in the works for quite some time, and the truth is Lucas had always planned on doing another one assuming him, Ford, and Spielberg could agree on a script. Unfortunately for us the viewers, it took them about ten years to decide on one. However, that must mean that the it was a script truly worth waiting for right? Wrong. What we got instead was a script that truly has no place in an Indiana Jones movie, nor does it even belong in an Adventure/ Action genre, and an overall let down from a man who is continuing to betray his fans, George Lucas.

The Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls (CS for short) really suffers from a plot that really just doesn’t seem to fit. If you don’t know by now (and you don’t want to read any spoilers), I suggest you skip this paragraph, because I am going to be discussing a number of the plot elements. The main idea behind the film is the discovery of aliens. Yes, that’s right. Indy is more or less on a quest to find an alien lifeform that supposedly once existed on earth. Now, to be honest this idea really isn’t terrible, and it certainly could be doable, considering Indiana Jones was never know for it’s realism. However, what this movie does wrong is that for starters, it makes the viewers think that Indy is still on a quest for some ancient artifact and yet when in reality he is just searching for some extra terrestrial lifeform (this isn’t truly revealed till about 3/4 of the movie). And if that weren’t bad enough, Spielberg actually chooses to show us not only the alien, but an actual alien spacecraft as well. As a result of this, it just makes the movie go from “believable fantasy-adventure”, to “unrealistic sci-fi”. It really seems to leave a sour taste in your mouth.

Okay, now that we are done discussing the plot, we might as well talk about the rest of the writing and dialogue. The past Indy movies have always been known for it’s combination of humorous writing, with fast paced action. Ford’s portrayal of Indiana Jones is always a character of both sarcasm, and quick wit. I feel that this movie really lacks in these areas. Numerous times in CS it really feels that their are these awkward lulls, where a character (most notably Indy) should have some sort of come back, or one liner targeted at an opposing character, but instead of that all we get is silenced. I really don’t think this is Ford’s fault, and that the blame falls squarely on Lucas’ recent writing abilities.

The acting in CS is both good and mediocre at times. Ford gives a really great performance in my opinion, and really seems to flesh out an older, more mature Indiana Jones. His age never really seems to be a problem, and the characters (as well as the actors I assume) do not try to hide the fact, as many of them even make jokes about how old he seems to be. Shia Lebeauf gives a decent performance as “Mutt”, Indy’s sidekick throughout the film. However, on the opposite side is Karen Allen who gives a “Meh” performance at best. A lot of the times it seems her character was thrown in for no other reason than pure nostalgia. Finally, Cate Blanchett gives a mediocre performance at best, and turns out to be probably the lamest villain in Indiana Jones history (however it’s possible that isn’t entirely her fault, and once again can be blamed on the writing).

As far as the action goes, Crystal Skulls definitely has some high points. Ideally, the motorcycle chase and the warehouse fight are both great scenes. Unfortunately, a lot of the other high action scenes are really ruined (at least in my eyes), by the over use of CG animation. Something I find highly unacceptable, especially when Spielberg himself promises that the film would be shot oldschool, and with little to no use of CG.

Finally, perhaps the worst thing about the Crystal Skulls is the overabundance of either “near impossible” scenes, or scenes that are entirely pointless and really take away from the mood and setting of the movie. Some of these ridiculous scenes include the anti-communist monkeys, Shia Lebeouf as Tarzan, all of the good guys falling down three separate waterfalls, and finally the infamous “fridge” scene along with the completely CG animated gophers. All of these scenes really make the movie feel almost more like a parody, and it’s really hard to take the film serious.

Overall, the Crystal Skulls really suffers from poor writing, and in the end their is no one to blame other than Lucas himself. As we all watched bastardize the Star Wars prequels, so too has Lucas inevitably screwed up Indiana Jones. It seems he has truly betrayed his fans for a quick buck. And to be honest, it really makes me mad. Both Ford and Spielberg originally turned down a script that almost the same theme as Lucas’, but after time Lucas eventually managed to convince the two into doing more or less the same idea.

Now with that all aside, Crystal Skulls isn’t a bad movie by any means. It certainly has Indiana Jones elements to it (in fact the first 45 minutes of it are really pure Indiana Jones gold), and the bond/ relationship between Ford’s character and Lebeouf’s is something that really adds to the series overall. Along with that, it’s still great to see Ford dawn the whip and fedora once more. Unfortunately, as a result of crappy writing, pointless scenes, and stupid CG animation, The Crystal Skulls turns out to be the weakest link in the Indiana Jones series. Personally, let’s just hope they make a fifth movie so they can end the series on a higher note.

6.2/ 10