As often happens, divergent thoughts converged in my mind last night, creating this blog post.
It started when I read The Evening News’ coverage of Pfc. Eric Harios’ funeral. It’s an emotional subject, and although I’m an experienced and somewhat caloused observer of the news, there was an uncomfortable lump in my throat by the time I finished reading and viewing the photos.
I’ve often tried to explain to young reporters – and now to students – the challenge of covering a funeral or memorial service. You want to capture the dignity and emotion of the event, but without seeming sensational or voyeuristic.
Usually the family is okay with reporters and photographers at the funeral, because they understand that it’s a way to share their sorrow and their memories of the deceased with the larger community. But sometimes the family is not so sure – they’re distraught and don’t want to have to deal with distractions like newspaper and television reporters and photographers.
I was proud of The Evening News’ coverage – it seemed to me that it not only struck the appropriate balance, but went beyond to achieve an admirable level of grace and eloquence.
Then, the next day, I heard a friend of the family describe how difficult it was for Pfc. Harios’ mother and brothers dealing with “the media.” The reference wasn’t to any particular media, so I don’t know whether they were referring to the local newspaper or nearby metro newspapers and TV stations. But I understand the problem, and I’ve seen it before.
Working with one local newspaper to share your family’s grief with the larger community is one thing – dealing with an army of reporters and photographers is quite another. The local newspaper tends to be sensitive to the family – in effect, it’s your neighbors sharing your story with more neighbors. Big-city media, especially when they’re competing with each other, tend to be much more aggressive. For them, it’s about getting the story.
I’ve spent most of my career on the small-town side of that equation – as a reporter or editor for community newspapers more or less like The Evening News. I’ve worked with many distraught families to assure them that our role as their hometown newspaper wasn’t to exploit their grief, but to help the entire community deal with the loss by participating in the funeral experience. I’ve even, when asked, offered advice on how to handle the unwanted media attention.
When handled right, it can be an uplifting experience for the family, as the larger community joins them in celebrating the life of their loved one.
I’ve been involved in coverage of a funeral that left me feeling proud to be a journalist. There are few stories that connect with readers as directly and as profoundly. If you do it right, you can provide a valuable community service.
I hope the Harios family wasn’t unduly troubled by the media. As anyone who has lost a loved one knows - and that’s basically all of us – the pain cuts deeply. You don’t need any extra pain.
And helped by the news coverage – at least what I saw in our local newspaper – the family of Army Ranger Eric Harios can gain some solace in the fact that the larger Monroe County community was grieving with them.