Faith Reflections

Finding True Happiness — Happiness Is A Choice

This series is inspired by the book “The Law of Happiness” (Howard Books, 2011) by Dr. Henry Cloud, a Christian psychologist and counselor. Dr. Cloud’s book is a look at happiness from a Biblical/Christian perspective. I’m building on Dr. Cloud’s thoughts and want to give him proper credit.

Part 1

Happiness Is A Choice

Happiness Is a Choice is the title of another best selling Christian book by Frank Minirth and Paul Meier. This is also the conclusion Dr. Cloud reaches in his book, that happiness is largely a choice we make. We think we will be happy if we get a different job, overcome a health issue, find a better place to live, get married, move to Arizona, get that degree, get one more gadget – I’m thinking Best Buy here. The reality is that there are people who have these things, and more, and are not happy. We’re “pushing the wrong buttons” Dr. Cloud says when we keep insisting that these externals will make us happy.

This world is fallen and broken and there’s much tragedy, so tears and sadness are often appropriate responses. However, much of day-to-day living, even though they’re far from perfect days, rob us of happiness that they don’t have to be allowed to do. Abraham Lincoln said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

True happiness, Dr. Cloud states, is much the same as the Old Testament concept of shalom, peace, which means to be whole, complete, and full as well as at peace. He writes that “we can be assured that the Creator has always been interested in our happiness and well-being. But further, He is also interested that we know how to find shalom: by investing our lives in the ways that he designed life to be lived.” (p. XIII) I think of the statement in Isaiah the prophet: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)

We can best choose the road of happiness by choosing to walk with God and in His ways. It makes perfect sense: if the Lord created life, and our lives, then to choose to be near Him and to choose to live according to His plan is going to be the way to choose happiness.

Then there’s the simple fact that many times our state of happiness depends on little more than the attitude we care to adopt. We can be walking along a flooded street and have a passing car splash us and either respond in anger and frustration at the driver’s lack of consideration and our bad luck at being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or we can laugh at how funny the situation looks to a dry bystander!

In the following weeks we’ll look at a dozen or more ways Dr. Cloud suggests are ways of happiness. In the meantime, let’s use our God-given ability to choose happiness where, before, we were inclined not to.

Just A Thought…

External VS Internal Motivation

One of my favorite experiments that I’ve come across was conducted with college students where some were paid for doing puzzles and others were not. Later, all were given some free time to read magazines, do more puzzles, or whatever. Those who had been paid for doing the puzzles worked less on puzzles in their free time than those who had not been paid. “Rewards had…turned the play into work. Extrinsic rewards undermined intrinsic motivation.” (The Human Connection, Bolt & Myers, p. 78)

Are we externally or internally motivated? I suspect most of us would answer, “Well, that depends on the situation.” In many situations we may feel we have both external and internal motivation. A job for which we get paid certainly has the primary external motivation of being paid for doing the job, but if we’re only motivated by the money we’re probably not going to last at it or do a good job at it. In a close relationship we should have a primary internal motivation of caring about the person, but we also may have some external motivation of not wanting to make the person mad or wanting the person to give us what we want.

I think it’s safe to say that internal motivation is almost always better than external motivation. This rings true to the teaching of the Scriptures. We sometimes think of God’s laws being external, even having been written on stone tablets and hand-delivered from God by Moses. But it has always been God’s intention that we internalize Him and follow after Him with primarily internal motivation. The prophet was speaking for God when he declared, “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people.” (Jeremiah 31:33)

Here’s how I see this working out in a practical way: Anything I believe to be a right and good thing to do should be part of God’s call upon my life, if not I shouldn’t do it. Because it is part of God’s call upon me then this should become my primary motivation for doing it, not because I’m getting paid, or that I feel it’s expected of me, or for any other possible externally motivated reasons. I want to do it because it’s God’s plan for me, because I want to please Him and serve Him. Shifting from humanly oriented external motivation to divinely called internal motivation is the way to live!

Just a Thought…

Just a Thought…

The Danger of the Drift

As a boy, one of my favorite Bible stories was about Samson. He was a very strong man — the Bible’s version of the Hulk, who first appeared in comics when I was twelve, in 1962. I remember seeing pictures in my Sunday school literature of Samson carrying off a city gate and of him pushing apart two pillars that held up a building, killing himself and many other people.

Of course, my Sunday school teachers steered clear of some of the details of Samson’s life that would give the story an “R” rating, at the least, for sexual content and violence. When you take a serious look at his short life you realize that he started well but quickly began to mess up his life. Though he was a strong man, he was weak in resisting the culture around him and the passions within him. He consistently drifted from the divine call on his life.

There are many ways we can drift from the best we can be or do. For example, in our marriages. It’s like the couple where every few years the wife came down with a cold. The first year when the newly wed husband heard his wife sneeze he told her, “Oh, honey bunny, you better lay down and take it easy. I’ll get you something nice and warm to drink.” The next year she sneezes and he says, “That’s sounds like a cold coming on.” By the tenth year of marriage, upon hearing his wife sneeze, he says, “Stay away from me, I don’t want to get your cold!”  There are so many other areas of life we can drift – our thought life, our work ethic, in how honest we are, our walk with God.

The journey of life is a series of steps. We rarely jump directly to success or failure, to holiness or sinfulness. It’s one step at a time, in one direction or the other. Both bad habits and good habits form slowly, but form they do!

“Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.” (Colossians 4:2)

Our Ever Changing Lives

On a wall in our home we have two frames, one for each of our two children, now adults. Each frame is filled with a dozen class pictures from kindergarten through graduation. Each picture shows growth and maturing from the one taken the year before. I’ve also looked at some pictures of myself taken just a few years ago and when compared to those taken more recently, well, I’m not going to comment!

The only thing that never seems to change is that things are always changing! All of our lives will look different a year from now, more different three years from now, and even more different five years from now. That’s why we often picture life as a journey — because we never stay in the same place. In a sense, we’re always moving on to new ground: the new territory of tomorrow.

As we move through life with its landscape always changing, the question becomes whether we’ll let the new territory conquer us or whether we’re going to conquer the new territory. We can’t stop change; but we can manage change.

What changes are happening in your life and mine? God, who Himself never changes, has a plan on how these changes can work out in a good way, for He is a good God.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:7)

Just a Thought…

Joy for Each Day

Last evening I walked through the small woods behind our home and out into the open field. Across the field I saw a mother fox and her cubs, their coats painted even a brighter orange by the setting sun. Then this morning I had a chance to do some reading on my patio, hardly needing my sweatshirt. It was a glorious morning. I just finished an hour and a half with my accountability buddies, two other guys who are senior pastors. We sat outside, sharing our hurts and hopes, laughing and praying. It was a good time. Now I’m sitting here typing this while sipping a cup of coffee.

I could also give you a description of events and situations that have me concerned, leave me feeling burdened, and even tempt me to gripe to whoever will listen. Don’t worry, I’ll resist doing so with you here and now! That’s the point I want to make: we can choose what to focus on. It’s not that we shouldn’t be realistic and honest about what we’re facing, it’s just that we can get fixated on it to the detriment of the day.

At the beginning of most of the meetings, rehearsals, and gatherings at Mayfair-Plymouth we’ve taken up the habit of sharing “God happenings” with each other. We tell of ways in which we’ve recently seen God working. It’s been such a good experience.

God is at work from when morning dawns to when the evening fades, but we can miss much of it unless we pay attention. What goes wrong seems to shout for attention while what goes right is a whisper that often goes unheard. It takes intentional effort to hear the chirping cricket over the squealing tires. But this is a choice people of faith in God should make. After all, God is a good God and continually does good things, even though this world is fallen and broken.

So, look around. What is God up to? “The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.” (Psalm 65:8)

Just a Thought….