A Special Beachhouse Visitor: Knoah!

Posted on 27 August 2008 under Beachhouse, BlogsMonroe | 2 Comments


Click the image for a larger version.

This afternoon I got a visit from Knoah, the little boy with dwarfism who’s the subject of his mom’s blog, “What Is Normal?” Of course his mom Tonya came down too, as well as Knoah’s older bro and sis Jacob and Hannah. They had lunch of Koegel hot dogs, Flint Coneys and ice cream, Jacob and Hannah went swimming in Lake Erie, and we were able to have a good chat. Thanks for the visit, gang!

‘The Coney Nazi’

Posted on 10 August 2008 under Beachhouse, Rants, Restaurant Chit-Chat | 12 Comments

I could easily become … ‘The Coney Nazi’.

Ali “Al” Yeganeh’s inspiration for Larry Thomas’s ’Soup Nazi’ on the 116th episode of Seinfeld was brutal. Ask the character for bread, and either pay for it, or …

… “No soup for you!!!” … and out you go.

I could easily do that with the Flint coneys I make each and every day for dozens of customers.

See, I make the sauce almost every morning, from scratch. I make sure they’re served on good buns … not expensive buns, just buns that won’t separate at the seam, won’t flake apart, and won’t collapse under a pile of warm sauce. I make sure the sauce is made from the right ingredients every time … and that the hot dogs underneath are indeed Koegel’s.

So it makes me kinda nuts when someone comes up to the window and starts with, “I’ll take a chili dog …”

What did you say???

No. It’s NOT a chili dog. A chili dog has flippin’ chili on it. This ain’t no chili. No, it’s not “beanless chili” either. Yeah, there’s chili powder in there, but it ain’t no chili. Does my menu say “Chili Dog”? What about the big sign out front on the lawn? Is “chili” spelled anywhere on it??

It says “Flint Coney“. So …

“No dog for you!!!”

How ’bout some mustard on that? Ketch-… what? Ketchup?? You wanna put ketchup on that? And relish … and … no onion???

Listen bub, a real Flint coney has mustard on it and chopped onion. No ketchup and certainly no relish! What’s that? Jalapeños? And nacho cheese?? On a Flint coney??

“No dog for you!!!”

I blame Packo’s. I like Packo’s, and eat there cuz their food is cool. I still blame them though.

I can do that … because … I am become … The Coney Nazi.

Order it right. Otherwise, ya’ better watch yer buns.

Apologies to Seinfeld. Yeah, like he needs apologies or sumthin’ …

BBQ’d Spare Ribs for July 5th

Posted on 2 July 2008 under Barbecuing, Beachhouse, Grilling, Special Events | 2 Comments

Last year in this blog about this same time of year I lamented that I wouldn’t be able to cook up corndogs and offer them for sale during Luna Pier’s annual Freedom Festival and City-Wide Yard Sale:

In talking to a local restauranteur yesterday, I mentioned selling the corndogs at tomorrow’s sales. What I got back was, “I hope you have a permit!” What it boils down to is this: Just like at Taste of the Nation: Toledo on April 29th at The Docks, any Temporary Food Service Establishment (TFE) requires a local permit from the county health department as per state law. A TFE is defined as, “(A) food establishment which operates at a fixed location for a temporary period not to exceed 14 consecutive days”. The checklist for TFEs in the state of Michigan is located here, and there’s a whole lot a TFE has to comply with.

Well, whaddaya know … I’m on my fourth TFE since early June!

Ok, but here’s the thing: I can’t legally sell corndogs this year. There’s a clause in the beachhouse contract that, since the Freedom Festival is a fundraiser for the Fire Department, I’m not allowed to serve anything they’re making available. And they’re parking a corndog trailer 20 feet from my little place on the beach.

But ya’ know what? That’s fine. With the beachhouse, doing corndogs is inherently unsafe. There’s no vent hood in the place so any “real” cooking has to done outside. And having that much searingly-hot oil near such a major crowd as the city regularly gets that day would make me more than just edgy.

So I’ve ordered enough spare ribs for probably 70 lunchtime servings. Those slabs will get some 15 Million Spice and slow-cook all morning before being BBQ’d on the grill, cut, and served with slaw or potato salad and some baked beans. Our health inspector said Monday she’s kinda sorry she has to miss it!

Lots to do before then! Mayor Mary is spending the week going through literally tons of old stuff in city-owned closets and storage rooms around town, so she’ll be in their tent for the sales till around 2 p.m. Some of the stuff she’s found is actually really cool! Of course, Caleb and I will also have our regular menu at the Luna Pier Dog House the rest of the day as well, and will shut down before the fireworks start at dusk from the concrete pier just outside the front window of the beachhouse.

If you live nearby, Mary, Caleb and I hope you can join us!

Coffee With the Chief

Posted on 20 June 2008 under Beachhouse, Photos | 5 Comments

This morning Dan Shaw stopped by the Luna Pier Dog House for coffee and a chat. Managing Editor at the Monroe News, Dan is also the benefactor behind our host environment of BlogsMonroe.com and helped to get this blog up-and-running 18 months ago. (Has it been that long??)

[See Dan? I told you the coffee you’d spilled on your shirt wouldn’t show up in the photo! No one but you and I will know you’d even done that …]

I did screw up the other day. Luna Pier Cook reader and MonroeTalks talker Griff Crammond stopped by for a Flint coney … and I totally forgot to grab a photo. Sorry, Griff!

Eat This Blog: Luna Pier Dog House Nachos

Posted on 16 June 2008 under Beachhouse, Eat This Blog, Restaurant Chit-Chat | 6 Comments

Holy Flurking Schlidt. I haven’t posted in a week. I’m appalled.

I’ve had every intention of posting before this, but the Dog House down at the beach is taking up more time than I thought it would. We’re getting quite a decent amount of business It’s like making a film … lots of waiting, with bursts (sometimes constant bursts) of high energy when customers show up. On weekends when the weather is good it can be downright crazy there. Which is, of course, a good thing …

Above is the current version of our Dog House Nachos. The meat you see there is what is now the ubiquitous Flint-style Coney Sauce. I’m now making six pounds of the sauce every two days (tomorrow morning I’ll make another batch, having made a batch yesterday morning.) I seem to be getting darn good at it the more I “practice”. And the sauce gets great comments.

BTW, we went to the Monroe Street Grill in Monroe, Michigan for dinner this evening. Yes, there are photos! I’ll try to post them tomorrow. Oh right, our ice cream order will be ready at Independent Dairy. Let’s see, how’s that gonna work …

Luna Pier Dog House: First Customers

Posted on 3 June 2008 under Beachhouse, Michigan Cuisine | 10 Comments

These pics are of our first two customers at the Luna Pier Dog House at the beach on Lake Erie. Above is first customer, City Administrator and, basically, our landlord, Greg Stewart. I’d decided early-on the first customer wouldn’t pay for their coffee … Greg did come back later for a Flint-style Coney Dog for lunch.

Below is the second customer, my son Aaron. I know, I know, he shouldn’t have had ice cream for breakfast, but he’s 18 now …

‘Luna Pier Dog House’: Almost There …

Posted on 28 May 2008 under Beachhouse, Michigan Cuisine | 5 Comments

Luna Pier Cook to Cook at Luna Pier, plus Why Wysocs is Bad Juju

Posted on 24 May 2008 under Beachhouse, Michigan Cuisine | 13 Comments

Unemployment in Michigan sucks. Constantly being the highest rate in the country, it just always seems to get worse instead of better. Now with the American auto industry sucking worse than ever, foreclosures happening all around, gas prices going through the roof and food prices skyrocketing, there’s no telling where or when it will all end. That the people in Washington can’t see past the end of their snobby noses is a real indicator that they need to be out of office so people who will actually do what’s needed can get in there and give this country the serious help it needs,

For now, I have to make my own way.

When the beachhouse concession at Luna Pier on Lake Erie became available for rent a couple months ago, I gave it some serious thought. It comes with literally nothing, and to even do a simple hot dog becomes an expensive venture when everything has to be inspectable. So I dropped the idea.

When Mary’s stepson started arranging to come home from college in Colorado he started talking about him and I running the beachhouse concession. With him helping to pay 50% of the startup costs, it started looking a bit better.

After two other proposals dropped out, he and I ended up being the concessionaires by default. We’ll have the concession open June 2nd, offering Flint-style coneys with fresh-made sauce, nachos, ice cream novelties, and pop and such. We’ll even open early (maybe 6 a.m.) so the fishermen can get coffee, breakfast sandwiches, hooks and live bait.

Come on out starting June 2nd and enjoy what we’ll have to offer, particularly since we don’t plan on marking things up like most tourist stops do.

So what does this have to do with Wysocs Subs & Deli? It’s a matter of a lack of ethics on their part, i.e., why I have to supply my own refrigerator.

Wysocs was the concessionaire at the Luna Pier beachhouse the past couple years. There are two refrigerators within the concession, both donated by residents of the city, a “freezer-on-top” unit for bait and an Amana side-by-side for food. (We know it was an Amana as we have photos from earlier. Note my use of the word “was” …)

Earlier this year before the locks were changed on the building, Jack Campbell’s folks from Wysocs were seen loading the Amana fridge into a truck. They told Luna Pier city DPW they had permission from council members, which wasn’t true. A police report was filed and they were told to bring it back. While they were putting it back they were asked if it was just as difficult to get it out of the building. They said it was. They then tried to take the bait fridge and were stopped from doing so. That they said, “Oh, we’ll just let you keep it”, is more than ridiculous.

The side-by-side they brought back is a Kenmore that doesn’t work at all. Jack Campbell claims it’s the right one, that there was an error on the city’s inventory.

Sure … like there were a dozen side-by-side fridges in that room … ok, whatever doode, we have photos.

This isn’t just a misunderstanding, as I’m skipping over parts of other conversations. This was an intentional act on their part.

So because of Jack Campbell and his lack of ethics, I have to supply my own fridge when I shouldn’t have to, when I’m already scrounging to make this work. 

I understand from others in Monroe County that, “You can’t tell Jack Campbell anything”. I’ll tell you what, if I ever meet the guy he’ll get an earful he’ll never forget.

We’ll figure out the fridge situation. We’ll make it work, and we’ll do our damnest to keep our patrons happy.

But Jack Campbell sure as spit won’t be welcome as one of my customers.