Pacer Chick

I think I am allowed to get ticked off every once in awhile about being sick. I have been dealing with it since forever and I know most of the time I suck it up, I am strong, and just roll with the punches. A couple nights ago though, I felt horrible and I had to do the whole deal with laying down, putting my feet up on pillows and just wait it out. I am not that patient though. I wanted it to just come and go. I read my book and tried to ignore the fact I was ready to projectile vomit. I eventually fell asleep and was cured in the morning, but it really gets on my nerves.

Sometimes I do get really ticked off that I have this heart problem. Sometimes I want to be able to ride the big, new roller coasters. And sometimes I want to go to the way front of a concert with my friend and really rock out up there. I know it doesn’t help to complain and dwell on the bad, and I don’t. But like I said, sometimes the getting sick feeling really ticks me off.

I have always wanted to be famous, be a star like the old movie stars I idolize. And I wanted to be in the celeb gossip mags I like so much, but I sometimes wonder if me (or my body for that matter) can handle all that Hollywood has to offer. I will try my butt off to see though, because I will never get over it if I never try.

Oh somber somber. I will go and enjoy my life now. And by the way…the heading for this post is gonna be my next tattoo. Ooooooh….stayed tuned for that one!

My body has been thrown off because of my big Harry Potter filled weekend! My place of employment *how official* at Ellis library had a Harry Potter program to celebrate the release of the final book. I was there from 3:00 pm until maybe about 1:00 am and yeah it took it out of me, but I had a lot of fun!! Flitting around the library being in character and being around all these people who read the books and see the movies and what not, it was very cool.

Have I finished the book yet? No. I am ALMOST there! But because of the busy weekend I had, everytime I try to read it to finish it, I conk out! I have gotten very good at blocking out people’s conversations about the book though because I have threatened torture on anyone who tells me what happens. I know, I am mean.

The movie was…just awesome! Way exceeded my expectations. I am such a huge dork, but so what! I loved it!! My mom and I went and saw it at IMAX which made the experience even better.

Say…aren’t I the girl who writes about living with her heart problem and not about her dorky love for Harry Potter? Let me dig around for that pacemaker and see if I can whip up something that has to do with my heart problem…hmmm…I have a headache because the barometric pressure keeps changing. See, my health is not as exciting as seeing Harry Potter and Dumbledore fight Voldemort!!

I better pass out or something so that I can get out of my Harry Potter state of mind. (I am kidding mom, don’t worry!)

Okay, if there is one thing about NCS that really tends to get on my nerves, its the not being able to sit still aspect. Its not only annoying, but it can be kind of embaressing…people thinking I have ants in my pants or something. But, I am not the only one at there that likes to dance in their seats! My friend from Pennsylvania moves around much more than I do, and my younger sister does the same thing as me

It happens a lot at restaurants. I can sit “normally” for a little, but then (and my friends and family know this) I have to put my feet up on a chair or something, and then I can go to sitting with my legs to the side if I am in a booth. I used to do it subconciously and not even notice I was doing it, but until a friend of mine brought it up that I almost kicked him while putting my feet up, I became more aware of what I was doing. I noticed it again today at a staff meeting, although it was harder finding a comfortable position since we were all crammed around a table.

I ramble on a lot. I just wanted to share that I guess. If you notice me dancing around in my seat sometime, don’t be alarmed!!

Today has just  been…well, bleh! I don’t know why either! I woke up feeling very tired and groggy, and now I have a the “eight ball” feeling in my head (vertigo) My head is killing me. No idea why either. I guess its just one of those lovely days in the life of having NCS.

Know what I would love to do? I would love to know how many kids in Monroe actually have a form of dysautonomia. I think it would be great to go around to schools or wherever and be able to talk about having it. I know in school we used to see videos of people/kids who have very serious, life threatening illnesses and of course it kinda scared us. But, what about NCS? Unlike other disorders, this one is invisible. Unless you are passed out on the floor or turning a lovely shade of bright white, no one can tell that you have it. I just think it would be neat to talk to kids about how I have conquered the trauma I have been through and proven doctors wrong. Some of them could have been told that they wouldn’t be able to drive, go to school with the other kids, drive a car, etc. That is one of the reasons I wanted to write a blog, to kinda say “Hey! Look at me!” I have been sick since birth, had a pacemaker half my life, and I am living a fairly normal life. Its kinda fun to prove those big time medical doctors wrong, if I may say so.

Alright, enough blabbing out of me. Going back to the air conditioning and nursing my headache.

Hot enough for ya? Hardee har har!

You know if its scorching out, Jessica will most likely be around the nearest air conditioning unit. So, right now I am enjoying the air conditioning in my mom’s new condo, since I don’t have any at my new place. *screams in horror*

Its a nice day for Cedar Point! Its weird to me with the whole roller coaster thing. Most of my friends can’t go on coasters, or any sort of amusement park ride for fear of passing out. I have been going on them for as long as I can remember, and they have never affected me. Actually, I lied. I blacked out at the end of the Mantis because you stand up for that ride, and that kinda felt like a tilt table. Other than that though, I am good! I love big coasters and am very happy that I can ride them without worrying about ending up in the hospital the next morning.

Only bad thing about the coaster situation is that they get newer, faster rides pretty much everytime you blink. The biggest ride at Cedar Point I can ride is Magnum. After the Power Tower came in, all those that came after that one are off limits to me. Which sucks because they look very cool, but they could rip out my pacemaker leads…and I am not 100% cool with that.

I am digging this laptop, I feel like I could write my whole life story just so I could keep typing on it. Hopefully Christmas I will get one *cough cough mom* and be able to blog more! Yay!!

Okay…going back to the real world now. Farewell!!