Really gotta hate this…
I have said it once and I will say it again…I really don’t like having this heart problem. And I don’t like having a pacemaker really. It would be kinda nice to have a nice “normal” existence sometimes. I get so ticked off when something comes up and people don’t understand it, it really does get me mad, probably worse than it should. I think that and the whole “faking it” thing are up on there on things NOT to say to me about being sick. Hearing that I am making it up from doctors and having to see a shrink because they think either my mom or I are some nut jobs in need of attention. Believe me, we would rather go on Vaudeville to get attention.
And I know the hard part about having this is the fact that it is a “hidden” illness. We don’t have anything that is really noticeable at first, so it makes it hard I think for people really to comprehend that we are sick. I even have trouble with it sometimes! One of my good friends Brett has POTS and, its still very weird for me even to think that he has a heart problem. But…grrr!! Just know, I don’t have an awesome time with this, I hate feeling the pacer go off, I hate not being able to go out in the sun for too long, I hate how I get if its too loud or if the lights flicker even the slightest. I DON’T ENJOY THIS! So please, have understanding for people, it means a lot, believe me.
Thanks for listening to me rant. I need some caffeine.