That time of the year!
Back to school for me, and man…its slowly killing me! I usually get something wrong with me when school starts. Its hard to get back into the schedule of work, school, work, school. But clearly I am surviving it because I am writing this blog.
I am pretty sure my pacemaker wasn’t messed with at my last doctor appointment, but it seems like it is super sensitive. At work it was just going BOOM BOOM for some reason. (It doesn’t really make that sound, thats just what it feels like in my chest, fun huh?) And then last night when I was sleeping, it woke me up because my heart was racing. So, I don’t know what is going on there. I hope its not like how it was before when my heart kept racing, because I had to get an ablation…and that is NOT happening again. Maybe he did mess with it because he knows he gets on my nerves. Conspiracy maybe?
I was talking to someone I work with the other day, just explaining to her a bit of my heart problem and she said something to me that I hear a lot. “You seem to have a positive attitude considering all you have been through.” I remember growing up, I wanted to be THAT kind of person. The person that stays positive and just doesn’t become totally consumed by being sick and I thought I never would be that way. And its kinda funny to think that I am that way, and I don’t even really try for it. I mean, I am used to this because I have had it all my life, so I don’t really know how else to behave. Its nice to know I am not defined by NCS, POTS, or a pacemaker…at least, I don’t think so. When I think about what makes me ME, I know I have to include the pacemaker and everything because it does make me special….but I love old movies, I love to read, I love to have fun and laugh and that should define me more than just being the girl who passes out.
I feel uplifted now. Off to school…hope your school years are going well!