Explanation
The answer is: no political, religious, ethical or otherwise engaging conversation with citizens of Monroe.
The question is: What should I AVOID doing in order to be “tolerated” in Monroe?
It feels like everytime I attempt to discuss something with people of this area, I’m found defending or explaining myself or entire groups of people. It happens in my class, where suddenly I’ve been forced to take on the role of answering all questions Hispanic and on behalf of people of color. It happens online, where I can’t make a simple post without someone accusing me of being a liberal democrat, a English as-a-second-language learner, or whatever else just because I don’t have the same opinion.
Why must mud be slung when we disagree? Why can’t intellectual discourse continue without the slander?
Why do people take classes or ask questions if they’re not willing to hear other answers?
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind debate, or hearing new ideas. Those are the things I WANT from this city. I just want to do those things without being insulted and hearing people talk about me as I walk away or even when I’m talking. I don’t want to be the token anything. But here I often feel like I’m the token everything.
I owe you an apology, too, for disabling comments. I knew this more detailed entry was coming but couldn’t find the words. I still haven’t, but comments are open here. I’m ready for the bashing to continue.
February 25th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I understand what you mean about not having popular opinions and always feeling like then you have to constantly defend them.
But don’t give up. Keep believing what you believe and keep talking about it with people. Different opinions are definitely needed. And believe me… although it may sometimes feel like it…you’re most likely not the only one who feels the way you do about things. But feeling like you have to be silent means that the people who don’t think and feel like you ultimately end up winning.
February 25th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Jess, I’ve totally dropped out of some online forums because my opinion was more often than not considered wrong, so I know how you feel. I’m not even Hispanic … I’m a white male, a Russian/German/Polish mutt, and a Christian to boot! You’re not the only one who feels this way. I’ve tried to fit in around here over the past few years and have only recently felt at home with some folks, only recently found where my opinions will even be considered, especially where technology is concerned. Politics? Forget it … I just keep my mouth shut … well, as much as I can anyway …
Being yourself can be a horrendous challenge. But never give up. As Sarah said, that’s when they’ve successfully trounced you, and that should never happen. That’s why I thank God every day for Mary. She doesn’t want me to be anyone but me.
February 26th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
You both have EXCELLENT points. Sometimes it’s hard to remind myself of those things, so I thank you for reminding me. Much appreciated in a time of need.
February 28th, 2007 at 6:57 am
I couldn’t agree more with you and how you feel. I’ve just accepted that pretty much everyone around me down here is going to think I’m a tree-hugging crazy liberal. Even though I also have of beliefs that would align me with conservatives, once you lay a few cards on the table you’re a liberal and nothing you say can change those minds, but you have to ask yourself who cares? Most people who live here have lived here all their lives and so have their parents. They couldn’t possibly think of what it would feel like in someone else’s shoes, they have so rarely known anyone that is different from them. I know people from Monroe who are afraid to go north of Flat Rock…so again who cares what they think?
I would be much more saddened if I was on campus at Wayne State speaking my mind and met the same kind of closed mindedness, that’s when there would be a problem. Around here and other small “country” towns, it’s what should be expected. That’s why I love these blogs, it’s one of the first times I’ve “met” anyone from here that has progressive though, so keep it coming and keep on getting yelled at maybe one day you’ll say something that will make one person think differently.
March 1st, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Hi Jessika,
Granted you feel like an outsider due to your opinions, which is compounded by moving here from elsewhere…but you’re not entirely alone in your views or opinions. I’ve been fortunate to meet all kinds of folks with a whole spectrum of opinions on various subjects here in Monroe. Sure, you run into one or two old crusty types who are set in their ways, but there are plenty of other folks around here lurking who probably share your views, or even hold extreme versions of your views that even you can’t align with.
You’re welcome to drop in on my blog by the way…I started it recently specifically to start up some conversations on various subjects I feel strongly about that I felt aren’t getting enough attention, and I’d love to have your thoughts added to the conversation.
March 2nd, 2007 at 1:39 pm
Being born and raised. I suggest people need to learn to realize your opinions are your own and if someone doesn’t agree, then too bad!! Monroe is WAY too small to be concerned with what someone else thinks about you. My family knows. If someone wants to judge you without getting to know you, shame on them!!
March 7th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Jessika: I can relate to some extent how you are feeling. I moved to Monroe 14 years ago. Prior to that; I lived in Taylor, Houston, TX., Washington, DC and Alexandria, VA. I enjoyed living in all those locations, and I learned alot about various cultures, peoples and regions.
However; there is something to say about having put down roots in a community for several generations. I work with people whose families have been in Monroe for many, many generations (several have roads named after them). I think that is something to take great pride in; and every now and then, I admit to being a little envious of those roots.
I love living in Monroe County, and both my wife and I enjoy raising our daughter in Monroe County (who was born in Monroe at Mercy Hospital). This is a great place to live, work and play in. We have met so many good people while living here (through 4-H, Church and other activities), and we have made many good, life-long friends in Monroe. When it comes to living in Monroe County, I admit it, I am a cheerleader for Monroe.
Trust me! If you give it a fair chance and get to know people; you will never regret your decision to move here.
Please do not hesitate to call me if I can be of assistance to you.
With regards,
Tim Laitur
City Attorney
City of Monroe, MI.
384-9110
tjlaitur@ci.monroe.mi.us
March 9th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
There are many reasons some people resort to personal attacks, but I would guess that the root cause is usually that they’re not used to practicing introspection to examine their own convictions. It’s difficult to admit when one is wrong, so the natural reaction to an opposing opinion is to simply claim that the person presenting the opposing opinion is wrong, or to attack the person, rather than refute the idea.
I like to respond to personal attacks by sticking to the facts and asking questions that attempt to get at the morality behind the subject of discussion. Take this recent discussion as an example: http://tinyurl.com/2ohav4
If the subject of discussion doesn’t have a moral component, then it’s in the realm of personal preference, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Don’t let shallow people bother you. When you let them make you angry, you give them power over you.