Behind the Headlines

I’ve written obituaries off and on during my career as a newspaper reporter, taking my turn at all four newspapers that I’ve worked at. I’ve long thought there was generally understood principles and consistency as to what information goes in an obituary. After all, the various formats I worked with were pretty similar.
But now that families are more spread out by geographic distance, and arranging for obituaries to be listed in multiple newspapers, I have noticed some distinct differences in local customs. The funeral homes generally send us an obituary in whatever format they are most familiar with and ask the newspaper staffs to re-arrange the information as necessary for their publications. It can get pretty confusing at times to translate what is customary in another city into an obituary for our community.
Some things that have caught my attention in recent months:

* There seems to be no rhyme or reason across the country as to the order in which to list biographical details and survivors. The only way I can keep all of the relatives straight is to highlight their names in different colors as I’m typing the list.
* How to list the visitation hours. “Friends may call” is the wording in our obituaries. One of our customers recently was confused about that phrase. “Why isn’t it worded as visitation hours?” she asked. “Local custom,” was the only explanation I could think of. I got confused by that phrase too when I moved to Monroe.
* Grandchildren’s names included in the notice. My best guess is that this trend emerged with the increasing practice of paid obituaries. After all, if you’re paying for the space, why not include as many details as you’d like? But I often have to explain to customers that grandchildren’s names are not listed in a free obituary at The Monroe Evening News. It can be done with a paid notice.
* How often does the obituary run? One day is the custom in Monroe, unless the family wants to arrange for a paid notice. I recently spoke with a relative in Utah who said obituaries commonly are listed for two or three days in her newspaper.

* Pallbearers and flower girls. I’ve seen the occasional obituary that lists pallbearers. A few weeks ago, one came to my desk with “flower girls” listed. I was told that’s a custom in the city where the deceased person lived. The family decided to go with a free obituary in our newspaper, which didn’t include the flower girls.