Behind the Headlines

I paid a visit to Jack Davis and Doug Gipson at the Fermi nuclear plant last week. I wanted to talk to Mr. Davis, who succeeding Mr. Gipson as the new nuclear chief for DTE Energy. The article is here.
As is usually the case in these days of homeland security, I had to provide some personal information in advance to clear the security portal at the site perimeter. Even since 9/ll, it’s also apparently has become necessary to do a limited search of each vehicle that doesn’t have a normal access permit.
I always carry an odd assortment of stuff in my trunk. Today, you’d find three pairs of inline skates, three pairs of ice skates, a couple of hockey helmets, some jumper cables, an empty root beer can, a couple pieces of wood, a rain parka, some ropes, a jack, collapsible tire iron and who knows what else.
I found out what else when I went through Fermi security last week.
Oh-oh, we can’t have this, said the guard as he pulled an empty strawberry daiquiri cooler bottle from way in the back.
Alcoholic beverages and containers are prohibited at Fermi. There was an embarrassing delay as the guard took the bottle into evidence and decided his next course of action.
My life flashed before my eyes. I envisioned myself in the Big House, in a cell next to some guy of Middle Eastern descent who was caught trying to smuggle aboard a plane a sharp pair of tweezers nested within the pages of his Koran.
The guard finally came back, sans bottle, and let me proceed. This was pretty humiliating. Not only was I a federal scofflaw, I appeared to be an alcoholic one as well.
Later, as I left the site, I turned in my vehicle permit at the guard shack.
The same guard who confiscated my bottle took the permit from me and asked, “Didya learn anything?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Next time, I’ll bring a six-pack.”
I didn’t even check my rear-view mirror to see if anyone had me in their sights.