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“Yeah, well you know what you smell like? You smell like stupid,” said one reporter.
What does stupid smell like? Submit your answers for a wonderful prize.
(By the way, I could try to present this in the context it was said, but I just don’t think that would give it justice. And, in case you were wondering, the person to whom it was said laughed harder than I’ve seen him laugh probably ever.)
Casting a spell on you: you will vote for my candidate
By Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com
Babs is ready for change - just like me.
“I’m like you — I’m ready for change,” she writes.
I’ve been trying to keep up with all this political hullabaloo, and as such, have signed up for multiple email newsletters from presidential hopefuls. Ms. Streisand, as the email indicates, is ready to support Hillary Clinton in her presidential bid. And apparently wanting it more than she has ever wanted anything before in her life.
Last month, I received an email from former president Bill Clinton, inviting me to have a sandwich. When I pronounced this to my coworkers, one suggested that he mistook me for an intern.
Mitt Romney - he’s all over the clever campaign tie-ins using his name. Like making it the “Ulti-MITT Holiday” this season or making the full ComMITTment to his campaign.
Ron Paul, it would seem, doesn’t need to send out invites from fancy people or come up with clever things since his supporters do it for him. It’s very man-behind-the-curtain-esque.
What I’m wondering is - do these things work? It’s like a commercial for classic advertising techniques: celebrity endorsements, plain folk testimonials, authoritative stance, etc. Does Barbra identifying with you make you want to vote for her candidate or does it just appear forced? Maybe they should try a more yentle approach. (I think I meant gentle.)
Obviously I’m not the target audience for email newsletters aimed at supporters, but what say you? What do you like to know or hear about from your candidates?
Ms. Shawna just called in another dispatch. This time, she’s waiting in line at Target, which she predicts will take a total of 1.5 hours to reach the register.
And the scene was “pandemonium insane.” Our friend and yours said there was almost a fist fight among the rosy-cheeked shoppers after the line had to be shifted so people could continue to walk through the store.
Walmart she found to be busy, but orderly. Target being the most insane by far. Next up is KMart and Meijer.
I made the mistake of asking if she was done after the next store or two.
“No, no, no!”
My goodness, the stamina required. After hitting up other stores in Monroe, Ms. Shawna was planning on trading her sister in for her kids and hubby, going up to Taylor for other stores, grabbing some lunch and “we’re making a day of it.”
So, if by 11 a.m., you’ve already been out for 8+ hours, doesn’t that kind of qualify as making a day out of it? I know I’m ready for bed and I haven’t been up for nearly as long.
A short amount of time later:
At Staples, three young men decided they would set up hobo shop, pitching a makeshift tent and waiting things out in the comfort of their space heated room on air matresses. They said they were in line since about 4 p.m. yesterday. Laptops were the hot thing.
The people gathered there, though most were not together, seemed to have a certain camaraderie about them. It seemed like a kinder, gentler shopping experience.
Shawna reported, that even though she and her sister were some of the first shoppers at Old Navy, there was no MP3 player to be had. They grabbed their stuff and got in line, but were told that only the first 39 people who got wristbands when they came in the doors were eligible for the free gift. She definitely felt shafted, she said.
Bath and Body Works and other mall stores, though, Shawna reported were moving along swimmingly.
By Stephanie Ariganello/stephaniea@monroenews.com
Just got back from some Black Friday shopping craziness. Mary Mary, the photographer, and I went out to capture the mood and drama of the morning. In the meantime, Shawna from MonroeParenting, has been checking in via phone calls to update us on her shopping experience.
First stop was Kohl’s where the doors were posted as opening at 4 a.m.. In a rare treat, and because everyone sang Jingle Bells so nicely, they opened the doors at 10 minutes until 4 a.m. Shawna, along with many others were out mere minutes later. Hot items: KitchenAid mixers for super cheap (with rebate). Toys were flying off the shelves. The only department not hopping, which was kind of a nice little respite: the men’s department.
Next over to Walmart where the doors were opening at 5 a.m. Line hoppers was the name of the game. Some people had been waiting forever there, and when the doors opened, there was a crush of people swarming from the fronts park of the parking lot, not lining up like good little shoppers should. The people at the front were Mad. That poor one employee - he was standing at the doors, trying to limit things a little. It wasn’t long before he lost total control. My favorite was a woman who had a shopping cart, talking on a cell phone. She was not maneuvering well and the cart was sideways, blocking people. It was a potential nightmare (think bottled waters of the Mississippi kind of pressure building behind her). The employee snagged the cart and admonished the woman, who didn’t even seem to blink and she continued talking.
The topper was the police cruiser, driving slowly past the line - just letting people know he was there. Nice. Happy Holidays!
More later.
By Paula Wethington / paula@monroenews.com
Someone at my former workplace always put the Wednesday before Thanksgiving edition on a scale to see how much that monster of a paper weighed. I’ve been asking about this at The Monroe Evening News every year since moving to Monroe. Seems nobody has thought of researching this bit of trivia!
So, after the paper landed with a very loud thud on my porch, I took it to the bathroom scale and weighed myself with and without today’s paper:
That’s 3.5 pounds of newspaper the carriers just delivered to your home or news racks.
I’ve been talking at Monroe on a budget about the sales and deals you can find while shopping in Monroe County. Stay tuned, it will take some time to compile today’s report.
There’s gold in them thar mouths. People must be jazzed up for turkey and time off; it seems like everyone is talking about something interesting or presenting it in an interesting way. Here’s a snippet:
“So, *Person* what do you think? Is Marie a little bit country a little bit rock and roll?”
“I think she’s a little bit fat and a little bit too old to be dancing,” responded the person who was queried, known for honesty.
From that same corner:
“… ever since Jerry Springer went off the air, I can’t watch it, it’s not the same,” said one person about a different television show.
“Yeah, I do the Jerry chant at home,” responded another person jokingly. Although, I like to think that this person just sits at home and ocassionally starts chanting to bolster her spirits and tried to make a joke of it at work while thinking, finally, I can share this oddity with the world.
Original plans were for Santa to show up at Frenchtown Square mall today, but someone realized that traffic might be lower due to the Michigan-Ohio State football game.
So Santa won’t debut until tomorrow.
That might leave some kids blue. But maybe Santa doesn’t care. After all, when he’s done sliding down the chimney, isn’t his soot-stained suit all scarlet and gray?
By Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com
No, no. That should read “cents”. Okay, so some of the humor may be lost in the reading, since there is a clear difference in spelling, but imagine hearing it.
Talking to Charles Londo, CFO/Admin for the county, about the upcoming budget last week:
He relayed that the prelim budget has the county spending $53,699,523 in 2008. I jokingly asked what the change was, since it was such a huge number.
“Cents? Oh, we don’t use any cents at the county,” said Mr. Londo.
I immediately laughed. It’s a statement probably confirming what most of you have suspected all along.
“Wait,” he said. “That’s not how it sounded.”
Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com
Well, I finally found out what a feather party is - and it’s not nearly as exciting as I thought it was going to be. (Although, I have to admit I was a little leery when I kept seeing the sign for one at my local American Legion place, conjuring images I just didn’t want floating around in my brain.)
The Feather Parties are bingo/gaming parties where the participants win various assortments of fowl. They’re usually held to raise money for a church group or veteran’s organization.
I was looking for more information on them since I’ve been seeing signs and only really turned up links to Michigan. Is it true - are feather parties exclusive to the Mitten?
In recent years, there have been what I like to think of as old-timey raids on different events in southeastern Michigan because of the mix of gambling and booze.
Have you ever been to a feather party? What’s your favorite fact or story about feather parties?
(Above cartoon from www.kevscartoons.com)
By Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com
I came across this while googling something completely different.
Here’s the list as posted in the WP forums online:
“Upon reading these quotes you may wonder, “Did they really say that?!”… the answer is yes…unfortunately, they really did. Let me know if you agree with my personal picks and feel free to share your own favorites (because there really is no shortage of embarrassing comments made by politicians).
10. “I don’t care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day.” Ray Nagin (2006) (http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/smn.01.html)
9. “When I was in England I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn’t like it and didn’t inhale and never tried it again.” Bill Clinton (1992) (http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0312/29/lol.08.html)
8. “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don’t know we don’t know.” Donald Rumsfeld (2002) (http://www.defenselink.mil/transcripts/transcript.aspx?transcriptid=2636)
7. “I think with a lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, you can’t play, you know, hide the salami, or whatever it’s called.” Howard Dean (2005)
(http://blog.washingtonpost.com/thefix/2005/10/dean_pops_off.html
6. “I’m a fairly wide guy.” Larry Craig (2007)
(http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/08/30/craig.transcript/index.html)
5.“Too many OB/GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.” George W. Bush (2004)
(http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/09/20040906-4.html)
4.“To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don’t be economic girlie men.” Arnold Schwarzenegger (2004)
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A7203-2004Oct4.html)
3.“I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it.” John Kerry (2004)
(http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/debatereferee/debate_1008.html)
2.“I have a record in office, as well. And all Americans have seen that record. September the 4th, 2001, I stood in the ruins of the Twin Towers. It’s a day I will never forget.” George W. Bush (2004)
(http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/10/20041018-11.html)
1. “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.” Al Gore (1999)
(http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1999/03/09/president.2000/transcript.gore/ ”
It made me think, does Monroe County have any quotes from politicos or other public figures that stand out as so cringe-inducing or ironic? I couldn’t come up with any immediately, but I’m sure, given time, anyone could come up with at least one.
What about you? Do you remember being appalled, shocked or amazed at something a local public figure said?
“Well, whether the cat bursts into flames or not, the end result is the same - the house burns down,” said one reporter. “That’s not relevant. It’s the same outcome either way.”
By Stephanie Ariganello;
stephaniea@monroenews.com
Ah the fresh smell of democracy in the morning. I was just at one of the polls in the City of Monroe. There was a steady flow of traffic, a few people here and there, always someone voting.
The new I.D. requirement didn’t seem to be tripping anyone up. I heard from a couple of people that usually there is a line when they hit their polling place, but they didn’t encounter that this morning.
Less people voting? Maybe. Or maybe things are more streamlined, or people know who they want to vote for going in, or a million other things. What has your experience been? Did you vote - or consciously not vote?
By Stephanie Ariganello
stephaniea@monroenews.com
“No one in my family ever dies,” said one sports reporter. “No matter how old they get.”
Should we be protecting ourselves with crosses and garlic?
On the other side of the newsroom:
“I have a Crow and a Wolf for the letters (section) tomorrow,” said one person.
I wonder what they have to say. Caw? Maybe one is badmouthing (beaking?) the other.
(Not overheard in the newsroom: “Come on someone, say something funny and newsrelated.”
(Art from www.artscoritani.com)
By Paula Wethington / paula@monroenews.com
I live in the city of Monroe, and the mayor and city council race has been pretty active. So we’ve noticed a lot of door-to-door campaigning in my neighborhood in recent weeks.
I much prefer campaigners and candidates who actually stop and talk to voters, than those who litter fliers under my welcome mat or in the door jamb without ringing the doorbell or knocking on the door.
Sunday afternoon, one of the campaign volunteers at our door was polite enough to wait for me to come to the door and say who she was campaigning for. She didn’t recognize me, and that’s fine. There are times when I am interested in something as a citizen, rather than as a reporter, and city elections are one of those issues.
So I listed to her pitch, asked a couple of follow-up questions and took the flier.
After I closed the door, my husband, who had overheard the conversation while watching the Sunday afternoon football game on TV, started laughing.
“You sounded just like a reporter!”