Behind the Headlines

Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com

Here it is, New Year’s Eve again.

Let me be up front about this: I hate New Year’s. I find it usually fraught with anxiety and expectation – you have to find something to do, you just have to! and it has to be the best thing ever! And then comes the let down – another year notched on the belt. The natural question to ask – Did I do anything remarkable?

Then, the holiday season concludes and there’s just winter. I actually love winter – i.e. snow and that clean feeling only a crisp breeze can provide – but SE Michigan winters don’t exactly fulfill that. (I’m a U.P./Minnesota girl, what can I say?) So, I’m trying to shake off my New Year’s Blah in order to get the new years how-to-have-a-better-year-story done.

In researching the origins of New Year’s and what people around the world do, I came across a list of things you should say to another person to wish them well into the next annum. On Wikipedia (yes, I check out wikipedia when researching things to make sure I covered different bases…) there’s a list of “typical phrases seen on cards or heard in greeting.”

Here are the suggestions:

• Happy New Year.
• Have a happy new year.
• We wish you a happy new year.
• I wish you a happy new year.
• Wishing you a happy new year!
• With best new year’s wishes.
• May the new year turn out to be the happiest and the best for you.
• May the new year be a happy one for you.
• May all your hopes and plans for this year come true.
• I hope this year will be a very happy one for you.
• Happy New Year! May this year be happy and fruitful.
• We are very grateful to you for the kindness you showed us last year.
• Thanks for the kindness you showed me last year.
• – Insert the appropriate year(s) below. –
  • Happy New Year 2008!
  • I hope 2008 brings you peace and happiness.
  • I hope that 2007 was a good year for you and that 2008 will be even better.

I just have to ask though, is this truly necessary? Does anyone need a guide to New Year’s tidings? It’s not like back stage where you say some specialized thing like “break a leg”. The only one you are to exclaim, according to the list, is “Wishing you a happy new year!” I especially like that they have both “I wish you…” and “We wish you…” listed, just to avoid that possible snake den of confusion.

So, I propose we come up with one, just to see if it makes the wikipedia list of possible things to say to one another on New Year’s. What should it be? And make sure you ‘insert the appropriate year(s)’.

Here’s to jibbing the rig and pie in your eye in 2008!

By Paula Wethington / paula@monroenews.com

Last night I watched one of the one-hour specials on The History Channel about the history of Christmas: Christmas Unwrapped: The History of Christmas.

I knew that many of the customs and traditions we take for granted today were not introduced to America, or in some cases observed anywhere, until the mid-1800s. But I didn’t know why Christmas was overlooked or even outlawed as a holiday festival in earlier years of this country. (Answer: Christmas festivities in that era were more like what we see today at Halloween or Mardi Gras).

One of the comments in the video production that I found interesting is that while many people struggle with religious vs. secular observances of the Christmas holiday, the two aspects contribute to and support each other. Without secular observances such as Santa Claus making department store appearances, the Christmas holiday would not be as popular or as pervasive in our culture. But until Christmas morphed into a family-friendly holiday, many religious people wanted nothing to do with the raucous festivities formerly associated with Dec. 25.

If you’re interested in this topic, the History Channel has additional features on its web site. Enjoy!

By Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com

As I’m writing a story right now about the State of the Communities breakfast – hosted by the Monroe County Chamber of Commerce this morning – I keep thinking back to the conversation that was floating around at the table I chose as I was sitting down.

One of the women was telling a story about a wedding where the mother of the groom objected to the union during the ceremony. First someone asked if she was serious about it. Apparently she was.

Secondly the other women wondered what the marrying pastor/priest did – did he proceed? Surely they must have training for that, someone suggested. He reportedly just continued with the ceremony as though she had not said anything.

But it raised the question – do those doing the marrying still offer the option to object? I didn’t hear the whole thing, but thought she said that it wasn’t offered, that the priest or whoever, never said object now or forever hold your peace. Has this been taken out of the wedding ceremony? Have you ever been to a wedding where someone objected? Who was it, and what did they do?

Where did that come from in the first place?

By Stephanie Ariganello; stephaniea@monroenews.com

As I was having my quick breakfast of dried apricots I kept thinking of a poem, referring to dried human ears as dried peach halves. I couldn’t remember all the details, but that description, even years and years later, has never left me.

So I found the poem – which is actually written by a native Detroiter who went to MSU and then grad school at Bowling Green. I’m posting it here to demonstrate the power of writing, the power of descriptions that leave branded spots on our brains. (Note: I had to edit it in order to remove the “f” word, which appears in its entirety in the poem.)

The Colonel

by Carolyn Forche

What you have heard is true. I was in his house. His wife carried a tray of coffee and sugar. His daughter filed her nails, his son went out for the night. There were daily papers, pet dogs, a pistol on the cushion beside him. The moon swung bare on its black cord over the house. On the television was a cop show. It was in English. Broken bottles were embedded in the walls around the house to scoop the kneecaps from a man’s legs or cut his hands to lace. On the windows there were gratings like those in liquor stores. We had dinner, rack of lamb, good wine, a gold bell was on the table for calling the maid. The maid brought green mangoes, salt, a type of bread. I was asked how I enjoyed the country. There was a brief commercial in Spanish. His wife took everything away. There was some talk then of how difficult it had become to govern. The parrot said hello on the terrace. The colonel told it to shut up, and pushed himself from the table. My friend said to me with his eyes: say nothing. The colonel returned with a sack used to bring groceries home. He spilled many human ears on the table. They were like dried peach halves. There is no other way to say this. He took one of them in his hands, shook it in our faces, dropped it into a water glass. It came alive there. I am tired of fooling around he said. As for the rights of anyone, tell your people they can go f— themselves. He swept the ears to the floor with his arm and held the last of the wine in the air. Something for your poetry, no? he said. Some of the ears on the floor caught this scrap of his voice. Some of the ears on the floor were pressed to the ground.

The poem comes from Forche’s book called “The Country Between Us” published in 1981 by HarperTrade New York. (Incidentally, Margaret Atwood had a hand in getting this published – one of my all time favorite authors.)

By Stephanie Ariganello
stephaniea@monroenews.com

So this really doesn’t have much to offer in the way of insights into to journalisming or newspaperness. But since I’m at work and it’s semi-work related I’m feeling like I need to share.

Earlier this evening I posted a comment on fellow blogger LunaPierCook’s page (www.blogsmonroe.com/food) in regards to eating rabbit.

Here was my comment: “Yeah, J (my guy who is a chef) has a line on bunnies and loves cooking them up. Me, well, not so much. I can’t get past the fact that they’re little hopping bunnies, not all that far off from our cats and I don’t want to eat our cats. Maybe someday I will. He uses rabbits in the specials at the restaurant sometimes. I’ll let you guys know if he’s planning a rabbity meal anytime soon. Last time he made some sort of braised dish with lavender tea and a ton of other things and swore it tasted like KFC.”

One of my coworkers just came back from a game and checked the drop-off box for whatever reason, found some fliers and jokingly said “these must be for you” while delivering them to my desk. There’s no way he could have read the comment since he was at a game all night.

The fliers are all about animal cruelty. One asks “Why call some animals ‘pets’ and others ‘pants’?” and then goes on to ask “What if leather shoes were made from cocker spaniels?”

The other flier is about KFC and cruelty to chickens with a rendition of the Colonel on the front, smiling, bloodied and holding a knife to a frightened, scalded chicken. Both are from PETA.

Did someone read the comment and feel compelled to pass along the literature? Is it just a coincidence? Am I thinking about it way too hard? Is it simply time to go home and instead of doing yet another political brief (as I felt my head may explode) this blog fodder was a twisted gift from the gods?

Nope. Not yet. Today is not your best bet when castrating animals. You’ll have to wait until this weekend.

Today is actually the best day to go camping (along with tomorrow – which would make sense since you have to stay overnight to camp) and also the best day to prune to encourage growth.

How do I know this? The Old Farmers Almanac.

Tomorrow is a good day to begin logging, as well as harvest above ground vegetables, and set posts or pour concrete. Trying to lose weight? Kick off the effort on the 28th. Or wait for October 6th and 10th. Weaning animals and children, cutting hair to discourage growth, quitting smoking and going to the dentist are some of the other actions on the list.

The almanac provides an astrological timetable, based on the Moon’s signs, and shows the best days for certain activities during the current and next month. The whole year is available.

You can check out when to do stuff here: www.almanac.com/astrology/
As to the why you would want to do stuff, that’s up to you to figure out.

On the back of an old newspaper clip I was reading for a story (research, my dears) I found the “Feature Film Time Table”.

The movies were Stella Dallas (Tagline: Sure – I like a good time!) at the Family Theater. She asked for it and Billy the Kid were playing at the Dixie. The Majestic was showing Slave Ship and Elephant Boy. There were shows starting as late as 9:50 p.m. – which is more than I can say for now.

On Friday, theater-goers could look forward to Forty-five Fathers.

In doing some research on seasons, time of year, etc. I came across the news that today marks the new millennium for Ethiopia, a country that operates on the Coptic calendar, rather than the Gregorian one most of the world uses.
According to The Independent out of England:
“In the Millennium Bazaar, a series of market stalls just behind Meskel Square in the centre of Addis Ababa, everything is stamped “2000″. From plastic bowls and key rings to packets of crisps and vases of plastic flowers, all are marketed as millennium specials.
“Elsewhere in the world today it is 11 September 2007.”
The government was trying to hype up the event, and was anticipating 300,000 visitors. They encouraged those returning to Ethiopia to stay with families so additional hotel rooms were available for tourists. Estimates place the influx at 25,000 and some of the events had to be canceled because of terrorist threats.
I know they’re not the only country to use a different calendar, and it’s not unusual for religions to be operating on different time frames, but I had no idea that it was still 1999 anywhere in the world. Ah such an innocent time – remember Y2K chaos?

From: www.mcsweeneys.net
BY BENJAMIN SUMLIN
- – - - * Texas shows up to the party already drunk with the girlfriend nobody likes.
* Texas partied too late, asks to copy homework.
* Texas asks if it would be “cool to hook up with your ex.”
* Texas has a habit of spending more time than needed in the bathroom.
* Texas bogarts the remote just before Lost.
* Texas demonstrates little respect for “personal space.”
* Texas finds and eats the little snack cakes you’ve been hiding in the back of the pantry.
* Texas needs you to cover rent “just until I get back on my feet, man, I swear.”
* Texas brings up an anecdote about his recent colonoscopy.

I came across this while investigating potentially awkward situations for a story I’m working on. I’ve been a longtime fan of McSweeneys. When I saw this I just had to share it.

By Paula Wethington

The Monroe Evening News participates in several promotional events throughout the year, including the Monroe County Fair. I usually volunteer to staff the booth at one or two of those events each year.
Well, I have to say that I’ve never seen a promotional give-a-way so popular as the lime green MonroeTalks backpack-style bags that our company is handing out at this year’s fair!

When Mike Fuson and I took over the booth at 6 p.m. Thursday, the outgoing crew told us that the bags were very popular but they saved some for our shift. Mike and I decided to keep our boxes behind the counter, and hand bags out on request.

Despite the “on request” distribution, in just under two hours, Mike and I run out of a supply of bags that was intended to last four hours. Several people said they’d stopped by repeatedly throughout the week, and kept missing out on a bag. Some of them finally got a bag, others came to the booth after we ran out.

Here’s a picture of me holding one of those elusive bags at our company’s booth. No, I didn’t take one home. That bag went to a fair visitor a few minutes later.

Hello there.
That headline was taken from the Onion. For awhile now I’ve been pushing for something similar in the MEN. Just a section or a story once a week – a spoof on actual news, either locally focused or not. Do you think there’s any room in a real newspaper for fake or mock news?

What would really be fun is to have one fake story a day and see if readers can pick out which one it is. Imagine the possibilities.

And, by the way, The Onion now has video on its web site, which is where the monkey story was filed. Hilarity will ensue.

It’s really quite warm outside. I was out there earlier for the demolition of the Jeep towers in Toledo. I wilted and the batteries in my camera repeatedly died. (although the camera reported that they were “exhausted” so maybe they just needed to rest awhile before kicking up the juice again.)
But before wilting, I stepped in some irony. At the Jeep ceremony in Liberty Park, Toledo, there was quite a little spread. Part of it was these little foam brick replicas painted orange with the word “JEEP” on one side. I think they were meant to be commemorative. However, one of the workers pointed out to me a little sticker on the foam brick.

“China.” As in made in China. The worker said, if that isn’t irony, I don’t know what is. Before too much longer, all of the stickers had been removed. However, the few novelty bricks that had escaped before the organizers noticed still bore the mark.

By Paula Wethington / paula@monroenews.com

Today’s editorial cartoon in The Monroe Evening News editorial page is from Jeff Stahler at The Columbus Dispatch. Two girls are playing with fashion dolls. One says “I’m getting mine ready for rehab.” The other says. “Mine’s getting ready for jail or would an electronic bracelet look better?”

It just so happens that I am the resident Barbie fashion doll fan in The Monroe Evening News newsroom.

I startled co-worker Josh Kennedy the second day I worked here when he spotted a doll on my desk. “Is that a Barbie?” he asked. “Actually, it’s a Midge,” I said, and tried very hard not to laugh. My doll was wearing a summer-time outfit appropriate for a beach party.
But yes, there is always a doll on Paula’s desk. I started that tradition about three years before I moved to Monroe. And with the help of fun finds at the toy stores and craft shows, and a little bit of creativity, I’ve had some pretty unique doll displays. Over the months and years, I have displayed a firefighter, a Cleveland Cavaliers Barbie Doll (much to the annoyance of a co-worker who is a Detroit Pistons fan), a doll in a prom dress, military correspondent (mixing in a G.I. Joe uniform and military props with a camera and laptop computer from another doll), Girl Scout Skipper (I handcrafted that outfit), a variety of Halloween costumes, and currently a doll in a graduation cap and gown.

So I did laugh at Stahler’s cartoon. But I’m not going to display one of my dolls in a jail uniform!

I was researching the eligibility requirements to participate in the Miss Ohio pageant for a story I put together today. Most of them were what I expected. Resident of the state or working/attending school, between the ages of 17 to 24, etc. Then there was this:

• Never been married or pregnant.
• Never convicted of a crime.
• Always been a female.

Aside from the social issues the first one raises (I know there is a separate pageant for women who are married). But the pregnant or motherhood thing is different altogether…
And forget having turned your life around and seeking scholarship dollars through any of the pageant channels.

The third tripped me up a bit. It just made me curious, like when I read laws that seem kind of outlandish, what prompted this to be part of the eligibility requirements?

I was on my way to work this morning listening to NPR and I heard something about Target selling wedding dresses on its Web site for less than $200.

First, I thought it was a joke and didn’t think too much about it. After I got to work, I searched around and found a few stories about the retailer offering the dresses in their “Cheap Chic” collection.

I have shopped at Target for numerous things, but I just can’t see myself buying a wedding dress from them or online for that matter.

I think it’s a nice alternative for people who may not be able to afford thousands of dollars on a wedding dress, but how nice can the dresses be?

I’m all for cutting some corners to save some money when it comes to the photography, food, etc. But a Target wedding dress- now that pushes my limit.
What do you think about Target selling wedding dresses online? Any takers? Would you buy a dress from them? Would you be embarrassed when people asked you where you got it and you said Target?