there must be a reason they dummied down the history books
Archive for the ‘Satire’ Category
1934 cartoon, as true then as it is now
Thursday, July 16th, 2009Humor
Sunday, June 7th, 2009Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a little stroll in town one afternoon enjoying the sunshine. As they walked, they come across a sign:
”Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“I am entering!” said Snow White..
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well, how’d ya do?”
”I won First Place !,” said Snow White.
They continue walking and they see another sign:
”Contest for the strongest man in the world.”
”I’m entering,” says Superman.
After half an hour, he returns and they ask him, “How did you make out?”
”I won First Place too,” answers Superman.. “Did you ever have a doubt?”
They continue walking when they see a third sign:
”Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Pinocchio quickly enters the contest.
After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes.
”What happened?” they asked.
”Who the heck is Nancy Pelosi?” asked Pinocchio.
Pelosi Joke
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009ELIMINATING UNSAVORY LANGUAGE
Years ago when I sometimes used unsavory language, I often used the expression “Bull Sh**.” As I grew up a bit and discovered it was not necessary to use such crude language, that expression became “BS.”
Q. What did I really mean when I used those expressions?
A. I meant that something was ridiculous, or idiotic or a half truth or just stupid. It covered any number or negative formats. The dictionary defines it as: nonsense; especially, foolish insolent talk.
I have decided that I no longer will use either of those expressions in the future. When I have the need to express those feelings, I will use the word “Pelosi.”
Let me use it in a sentence. “That is just a bunch of Pelosi.”
I encourage you to do the same. It is such a good word. It really packs a punch. We are no longer being vulgar, but it clearly expresses our feelings. If enough of us use it, possible we can get the word in the dictionary. And that would be an excellent legacy for the Speaker of the House.
Satire: The Wizard…
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
Obama best thing to happen since he took office
Sunday, February 15th, 2009Obama has had a good first 3 weeks as President.
He got 4 people to pay their back taxes.
Cuban kind of Change
Monday, February 2nd, 2009
Change, be aware of changes if you don’t know what they are.
A History Lesson In the late 1950's most Cubans thought Cuba needed "a change" and they were right. So when a young, dynamic leader came along, every Cuban was at least receptive. When the young leader spoke eloquently and passionately and denounced the old system, the press fell in love with him. They never questioned who his friends were or what he really believed in. He said he would help the farmers and the poor and bring free medical care and education to all, and everyone followed. He said he would bring justice and equality to all, and everyone said "Praise the Lord!" The young leader said, "I will be for change and I'll bring you change," and everyone yelled, "Viva Fidel!" But by the time the executioner's guns went silent, the people's guns had been taken away. By the time everyone was equal, they were equally poor, hungry, and oppressed. By the time everyone received their free education it was worth nothing. By the time the press noticed, it was too late, because they were now working for him. By the time "the change" was finally implemented Cuba had been knocked down a couple of notches to Third-World status. By the time the change was over more than a million people had taken to boats, rafts, and inner tubes to escape it. Luckily, we in America would never fall for a young leader who promised change without asking, "what change?" ...... Would we? |
The Chicago Way: Humor
Friday, January 23rd, 2009Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the
White House in D.C.; One from Chicago , one from Tennessee
and a third from Kentucky . They all go with a White House
official to examine the fence.
White House in D.C.; One from Chicago , one from Tennessee
and a third from Kentucky . They all go with a White House
official to examine the fence.
The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then
works some figures with a pencil.
‘Well’, he says, ‘I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for
materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.’
The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and
figuring, then says, ‘I can do this job for ! ! $700: $300 for
materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.’
The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but
leans over to the White House official and whispers, ‘$2,700. ‘
The official, incredulous, whispers back, ‘You didn’t even
measure like the other guys! How did you come up
with such a high figure?’
The Chicago contractor whispers back, ‘$1000 for me,
$1000 for you, and we hire that guy from Kentucky to fix the fence.’
‘Done!’ replies the government official.
And that my friends, is how it all works in Chicago !!!
Got to Love the Emails out of Illinois
Friday, January 23rd, 2009It would seem not all from the Land of Lincoln are in love with the new President. Here is the latest from one of my fishing buds.
Headlines On This Date 4 Years Ago:
“Republicans spending $42 million on inauguration while troops Die in unarmored Humvees”
“Bush extravagance exceeds any reason during tough economic times”
“Fat cats get their $42 million inauguration party, Ordinary
Americans get the shaft”
Headlines Today:
“Historic Obama Inauguration will cost only $120 million”
“Obama Spends $120 million on inauguration; America Needs A Big Party”
“Everyman Obama shows America how to celebrate”
“Citibank executives contribute $8 million to Obama Inauguration”
Anyone want to bet that Citibank wants more money from the bailout?!
Welcome to Illinois:Humor
Sunday, January 18th, 2009
Satire: another spread the wealth email
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008Today on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.Once in the restaurant my server had on an “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $5 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.
At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn, even though the actual recipient needed the money more.
I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
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